Why you should never pay for online dating.

[–] • -1 pt

(edited )

The perspective of the article is from a guy who owns a competing site, so there’s that. But even if that weren’t the case…

As a person who has actually used a ton of these sites in the past - with success, mind you - I disagree with this guy’s conclusions.

First off, it depends on what you’re looking for in the first place. Certain sites lend themselves more to “getting laid” and certain others more to actually seriously dating with the end goal being a long term relationship.

The IRL analogy could be that you don’t meet women at bars if you’re looking for a LTR - though it can happen - just like you don’t meet women at church if you’re just looking to get laid - though it can also happen.

Just like I don’t fish with stink bait if I’m trying to catch anything but a catfish - though it can happen.

Beyond that, pay sites are useful in that they will better weed out “low quality.”

This is probably more visibly true on the surface if you’re a female looking for men to date, but it also filters to men looking for quality women to date.

And I don’t give a fuck about that guy’s math problems and metrics, because they don’t compare to my real life experience in using paysites and free sites.

To put it succinctly, I decided long ago that if I am to use online dating at all, I will not use free sites because it was nothing but shit quality women.

And however bad it was for me, it’s 10x worse for any woman.

The problem he mentioned of “women being swamped with too many messages” is a problem that isn’t going away regardless of what site you’re on. If anything, that problem is only exacerbated on a free site.

And on the other end of that problem from the male perspective, the so-called problem of “not receiving enough responses from women” is something that the man has much more control of than the jackass who wrote that article is giving the average guy on such a site credit for.

If women aren’t responding to you, it’s not just because women are swamped with too many messages, it’s because they’re swamped with too many messages, those messages are all virtually the same as all the others in her inbox, and the man who is complaining in this instance isn’t taking a second to step back and realize that he needs to stand out to get noticed.

While online dating is quite different from meeting a woman IRL, it’s only different up to the point of scoring that first date or getting her number and taking the conversation off platform to the phone - and then scoring that first date. After you’ve accomplished that, dating is dating is dating.

FWIW, I met my first wife online almost 9 years ago. Yeah, she turned out to be a huge cunt and we got divorced, but that wasn’t the website’s fault. It did its job. I didn’t do mine. I was too young and didn’t know how to vet properly. I ignored a lot of red flags, let a lot of shit slide, and let her talk me into marriage before I was really ready. That’s on me. That could have happened no matter how or where I met her. Oh my, have I learned a lot since then, but I digress.

I’m now engaged to another woman that i also met online. She is one of a kind. The chances of me meeting her - or anyone like her - by sheer happenstance, I would put at .01%.

In other words, I highly doubt we’d have ever met if it weren’t for online dating. Highly doubt.

I would otherwise probably have spent a lot of money and time dating women the slow, inefficient way, before realizing they were cunts and moving on. I probably saved myself at least three to five years of bullshit and potentially a lifetime of heartache.

Anyhow, suffice it to say, I’m all for online dating. It works, but you have to be on point and work the system. It’s a numbers game and the faster you can weed out each potential mate, the faster you can find a good fit. I suggest being on multiple pay sites at the same time and dating multiple women until finding one that is worth exclusivity. And FFS, if you aren’t getting replies, it probably has more to do with your profile and communication skills than anything. Fix your shit.

Fun story: I got sick of single mothers hitting me up. I had already put in my preferences that I wanted childless women, but those skanks ignored it. So I actually put as the first line of my profile something to the effect of “if you have kids, move along. I’m not interested.” Sounds harsh? It didn’t matter. Plenty of hot single women thought it was awesome. I honestly met a good handful of really awesome and beautiful ladies in under a fucking month, no shit. I didn’t wear my politics on my sleeve on my profile, but I weeded hoes out in conversation quickly. Oh you like abortion? See ya, beeeitch. You don’t like Trump? We will never get a long so there’s no point in continuing further. I didn’t give an inch, Lol. A couple of women got mad at me for my pro-life stance and then simultaneously kept trying to get me to go out with them. Bitches be crazy. But I met a good 5 women who I was confident I could date and not hate in under a month. Point being, I had wittled it down to a solid field of beautiful, conservative women to choose from. And eventually, I picked one for exclusivity out of them. I honestly could have probably been happy with any of them. But this one is a diamond amongst other diamonds. ONLINE DATING WORKS, but you have to approach it a certain way. And yeah, juggling that many at once is a lot of work. But like anything else that’s worth anything, it requires work.

From there, get to know her like you would any other women you date. And then proceed as is warranted. Just like you would if you met her any other way.

You’re welcome.

The perspective of the article is from a guy who owns a competing site, so there’s that. But even if that weren’t the case… As a person who has actually used a ton of these sites in the past - with success, mind you - I disagree with this guy’s conclusions. First off, it depends on what you’re looking for in the first place. Certain sites lend themselves more to “getting laid” and certain others more to actually seriously dating with the end goal being a long term relationship. The IRL analogy could be that you don’t meet women at bars if you’re looking for a LTR - though it can happen - just like you don’t meet women at church if you’re just looking to get laid - though it can also happen. Just like I don’t fish with stink bait if I’m trying to catch anything but a catfish - though it can happen. Beyond that, pay sites are useful in that they will better weed out “low quality.” This is probably more visibly true on the surface if you’re a female looking for men to date, but it also filters to men looking for quality women to date. And I don’t give a fuck about that guy’s math problems and metrics, because they don’t compare to my real life experience in using paysites and free sites. To put it succinctly, I decided long ago that if I am to use online dating at all, I will not use free sites because it was nothing but shit quality women. And however bad it was for me, it’s 10x worse for any woman. The problem he mentioned of “women being swamped with too many messages” is a problem that isn’t going away regardless of what site you’re on. If anything, that problem is only exacerbated on a free site. And on the other end of that problem from the male perspective, the so-called problem of “not receiving enough responses from women” is something that the man has much more control of than the jackass who wrote that article is giving the average guy on such a site credit for. If women aren’t responding to you, it’s not just because women are swamped with too many messages, it’s because they’re swamped with too many messages, those messages are all virtually the same as all the others in her inbox, and the man who is complaining in this instance isn’t taking a second to step back and realize that he needs to stand out to get noticed. While online dating is quite different from meeting a woman IRL, it’s only different up to the point of scoring that first date or getting her number and taking the conversation off platform to the phone - and *then* scoring that first date. After you’ve accomplished that, dating is dating is dating. FWIW, I met my first wife online almost 9 years ago. Yeah, she turned out to be a huge cunt and we got divorced, but that wasn’t the website’s fault. It did its job. I didn’t do mine. I was too young and didn’t know how to vet properly. I ignored a lot of red flags, let a lot of shit slide, and let her talk me into marriage before I was really ready. That’s on me. That could have happened no matter how or where I met her. Oh my, have I learned a lot since then, but I digress. I’m now engaged to another woman that i also met online. She is one of a kind. The chances of me meeting her - or anyone like her - by sheer happenstance, I would put at .01%. In other words, I highly doubt we’d have ever met if it weren’t for online dating. Highly doubt. I would otherwise probably have spent a lot of money and time dating women the slow, inefficient way, before realizing they were cunts and moving on. I probably saved myself at least three to five years of bullshit and potentially a lifetime of heartache. Anyhow, suffice it to say, I’m all for online dating. It works, but you have to be on point and work the system. It’s a numbers game and the faster you can weed out each potential mate, the faster you can find a good fit. I suggest being on multiple pay sites at the same time and dating multiple women until finding one that is worth exclusivity. And FFS, if you aren’t getting replies, it probably has more to do with your profile and communication skills than anything. Fix your shit. Fun story: I got sick of single mothers hitting me up. I had already put in my preferences that I wanted childless women, but those skanks ignored it. So I actually put as the first line of my profile something to the effect of “if you have kids, move along. I’m not interested.” Sounds harsh? It didn’t matter. Plenty of hot single women thought it was awesome. I honestly met a good handful of really awesome and beautiful ladies in under a fucking month, no shit. I didn’t wear my politics on my sleeve on my profile, but I weeded hoes out in conversation quickly. Oh you like abortion? See ya, beeeitch. You don’t like Trump? We will never get a long so there’s no point in continuing further. I didn’t give an inch, Lol. A couple of women got mad at me for my pro-life stance and then simultaneously kept trying to get me to go out with them. Bitches be crazy. But I met a good 5 women who I was confident I could date and not hate in under a month. Point being, I had wittled it down to a solid field of beautiful, conservative women to choose from. And eventually, I picked one for exclusivity out of them. I honestly could have probably been happy with any of them. But this one is a diamond amongst other diamonds. ONLINE DATING WORKS, but you have to approach it a certain way. And yeah, juggling that many at once is a lot of work. But like anything else that’s worth anything, it requires work. From there, get to know her like you would any other women you date. And then proceed as is warranted. Just like you would if you met her any other way. You’re welcome.

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