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A series of new bills working their way through state legislatures in New York, California, Oregon, Hawaii, and several other progressive states will require you to listen to a Greta Thunberg lecture before purchasing gasoline.

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In an effort to salvage its relationship with China, the NBA is now requiring all players to stand for the Chinese national anthem at the beginning of every game.

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Police Keep Antifa Away From Columbus Statues By Taping Job Applications Onto Them

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NBA superstar Lebron James recently told reporters that while he respects what Rosa Parks did for civil rights by refusing to give up her seat on a bus in 1955 Alabama, he thinks her protest “probably could have waited a week.”

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New Smart Doorbell Will Argue With Jehovah's Witnesses, LDS Missionaries For You

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Haunted House For Progressives Just Normal Conservative Man's Home Containing Bibles, Guns, And A Copy Of The Constitution

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All Democrats Drop Out Of Presidential Race Since The World Is Ending From Climate Change

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Nobel Peace Prize Committee Informs Trump He Has Not Launched Enough Drone Strikes To Qualify

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How Parasites Work

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US Stands Firm, Ready To Support Nation Behind 9/11 Attacks

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All The Other States Beg California To Add Them To Travel Ban | The Babylon Bee

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Trump 2020 Campaign To Simply Air Unedited Footage Of Democrats Talking | The Babylon Bee

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Walmart Discontinues Auto Part Sales To Prevent Car Accidents

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CNN Apologizes To Stalin, Mao After Comparing Them To Trump

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In Order To Stop White Men From Legislating Women's Bodies, Democrats Fight To Overturn Roe V. Wade

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Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So Lobbyists Can Scan Prices, Self-Checkout

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Company Immediately Calls Job Applicant Upon Seeing 'B.A. In Communications' On Résumé

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Prince Andrew Put On Suicide Watch

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Snopes Rates Babylon Bee World's Most Accurate News Source | The Babylon Bee

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Turning Point BB

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Democrats Propose Creation of National Trump Voter Registry

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Woke Polar Bear Apologizes For Being White

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Culture Temporarily Embraces Concept Of Moral Absolutism

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New Legislation Outlawing Violent Gun-Wielding Groups Accidentally Bans Federal Government

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Todd Howard Song — It Just Works (BETHESDA the Musical) E3 2019

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