I just looked, and I see that I have nine followers. One of them, I know, is the cute chick who works for the NSA and monitors all my posts from her computer station, who has fallen hopelessly in love with me. I know you're there, darling. What we have, they can never take from us. Stay strong.
But you other eight? Stop following me, you're creeping me out.
That would be fucking sweet.
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