I lost the dog I grew up with a few years back and still miss him. He was the best dog, and was there for me through a lot of rough phases in life.
This will sound nuts, but brought me some comfort so I'm sharing: a little while after my dog's death, he appeared in one of my dreams. And he could talk! I told him I was happy to see him, thanked him for being a great friend, and asked him if he was ok. I asked him about death, was he scared? I was so sorry he couldn't be at home and was taken to the vet to be put down, but he was really struggling with cancer and I didn't want him to suffer any more... He replied with a little chuckle "Death? Oh, that. That's such a human thing to worry about. I'm fine, I feel wonderful, and you were a good person to me. Thank you"
I snapped awake from that one, but felt peace about it ever since. I was so anxious about it all - and that elegant answer definitely felt to me like it came from somewhere else.
Thanks for that story. I didn't know my dog was sick, and the vet said I couldn't do anything cause he was too far gone y the time I took him in. I feel enormous guilt. I punished him for shittimg on the bed but didn't realize he was sick. I put him outside and he was limp when I checked on him a few hours later. I put him in a hot shower cause I thought he had hypothermia. But it was the leukemia. Nothing I did worked. I put my best friend outside, and punished him for something he could not help. I will remember this for the rest of my life. The guilt is just severe. Haven't slept in 32 hours. I just don't feel right about it.
I hope I see him in heaven, or a dream so I can apologize to him. I said goodbye after he was stabilized at the clinic, and apologized profusely. I have so much guilt. Fuck my life man.
But how could you know? You did nothing out of malice. You were there in the end and throughout the years. He felt the love, no doubt.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My best friend, 9 y/o British bulldog died from cardiac arrest. The vet kept telling me something was wrong with his stomach and it turned out electrical in his heart. I swatted his butt at work that day for something similar also not knowing he was sick and when we got home he just dropped. You can't beat yourself up for that, you had no way of knowing and he'd forgive you. Just remember what it's like to have a friend like that.
Also remember to temper your frustration and anger with those you love.
You never know when your last interaction could be happening, always have Gods love behind your words, thoughts and deeds.
I know that guilt. He will come to you in a dream. I don't care how crazy I sound; mark my words, he will come to you and you will have your peace. He is on the other side now and he is healthy and he will let you know soon. It took my best friend about a month to come see me, and she came with another very beloved dog who died ten years ago; it was so good to see her, too.
I believe you, the same thing happened to me after my cat died (not a dog I know, but she was my best friend since childhood and went everywhere with me). She came to me in a dream and it was the weirdest thing, but beautiful. When I woke up I could still see her standing next to my bed like she always did, I cried my heart out.
He'd want you to cherish the life you still have.
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