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[–] 2 pts

No offense but... back to the drawing board, maybe.

[–] 0 pt

“They” bothers me.

The subject is Whites, then they refers to niggers. You need to establish the subject they refers to first.

Just my opinion. I don’t major in English, I was born speaking it though.

[–] 0 pt

Too much word

Unga bunga brains will not comprehend

[–] 0 pt

The nigger has 3 syllables in his name, cut the "all", it is implied anyway.

Best case scenario niggers start chanting "we are karmello"