Thank you. I got stuck for too long though. It was a situation in highschool where we were both crushing on each other so our friends pushed us together, then later after becoming quite attached his true colors came out and I was so devoted and willing to work through his flaw. I really believed that if i prayed, helped him and loved him enough he would find that he would have self worth and change. But, he was constantly in pain from what he would later find out is a degenerative bone disease. His father was a tweaker pedophile who worked at a hospital that molested his older brother, but before I learned about that, I learned that when I went on vacation to see my dad, he couldnt handle the lonliness and molested his cousin in her sleep (she was like, 10, he was like 16). When he brought up molesting his cousin -we talked about it much later- he said "Yeah, I feel bad, I know it isnt right for me to think this but.... sometimes I wonder if she enjoyed it." Yeah, I kinda wanted to kill myself too after learning that, but my female brain was hijacked by empathy despite him being a monster. I think my whole life would go down well as a cautionary tail about how this world is fucking up women. I really had such a strong relationship with God and such good plans and intentions for the future but my whole life has been tumultuous, hilarious, tragic, and wasteful due to my own lack of understanding and the amount of control I was expected to have over my life through hard work and determination, which ultimately just pushed us further in the direction of enslavement of both genders. Now I'm back down to earth, but I feel dead inside, like so much potential has been squandered. Who fucking cares if a woman can leatherwork, weld, fabricate etc when a man could be doing it better and faster while she's making food and tending to children.