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547

(post is archived)

[–] 2 pts (edited )

It is our God-Given right as Americans to own spoons, nobody is disagreeing with this. But when the Founding Fathers first wrote this write into the constitution, they imagined our spoons would be filled with porridge or stew; They could not imagine a modern High-Capacity American Spork, laden with white gravy and Nashville Hot Chicken, or the effects it could have on our society. For this reason, we need common-sense Spoon Legislation. Nobody in America needs an Ultra-Deep Ice Cream scoop, capable of ladling 15 servings of potato salad a minute. And that is why I am signing this bill into law today.

-Barack Obama

[–] 3 pts

Certainly, no one should own a fully-semi-automatic spoon!

[–] 2 pts

This is actually a quote from Obama.

[–] 2 pts

Spoons are a utensil for weak men

[–] 2 pts

We get it. You love sucking dick so much you slurp your meals through a straw so you keep your mouth muscles strong. For us spoon fans, I'll continue to use it. Blares spoon man by sound garden

[–] 1 pt

And they can't figure out how we know they are jewish all time. Lack of self awareness

[–] 2 pts

Just grab the fucking bowl and dump it down your throat. Like a man.

[–] 1 pt

wow what a high quality post to be #1 on poal right now

[–] 1 pt

My pen just happened to write that check on someone else's bank account!

[–] 1 pt

"How did that get in there? We gotta remove that" - young black women.

[–] 1 pt

And violent video games encourage violence... even though there were millennias of it before electricity or video games even existed.

[–] 1 pt

Spoons kill people and guns make people fat