I read this and felt like I needed to get depozzed.
Went on a date that ended up in leading up to sex at their place, but I said, repeatedly, I needed to use condoms. He ignored me and then entered me dry and finished inside me. I was stunned and was just quiet, lying there stiff as a board. I went home and went to bed. Didn’t even want to tell anyone. But then I told my partners (were open, but strangers require condoms, always) and they encouraged me to go to the hospital. I did a forensic analysis there, swabbed every orifice and got the police involved. After I thought about it, I may be doing the world a favor by reporting it. It’s not okay.
here’s the crazy part: one of my partners is really angry and while I was at the hospital getting evaluated, he found my rapist on Grindr. I didn’t tell him to do this, but he took some matters into his own hands, for better or worse. He changed his own profile to a pic of my rapist that says “I’m a lil rapist, see bio” and in the bio it said that this guy assaulted my boyfriend, if you have any info message me. Guess what? The profile got over 300 views today and he got dozens of messages from people on Grindr who said they went on dates with the same guy and he was very rude and had similar experiences to me. So I’m not alone.
The sexual assault nurse told me she is very busy and this kind of event happens very often unfortunately, because people don’t take consent seriously. I had to take a shot in my leg, an assortment of antibiotics, and two anti-HIV drugs now. Sucks.
I have a therapist and she is looped in on this already and so are my doctors so I’m in good hands. But I live in Seattle and this is exactly why we passed that new groundbreaking sex ed bill that establishes/overhauls sexual consent education. I think we need to teach kids about consent and teenagers about sexual consent so that we don’t just have a culture that accepts that this happens frequently. I mean even I was instinctively going to just tell no one and try to forget about it, because of the fear and shame and guilt and stigma against male rape victims (I was having gay sex, I bottomed).
Im sharing this because it feels lonely, and the social worker told me the most helpful move toward healing is talking about it as much as is wise. Maybe it’s a good reminder for consent, maybe it’s a good reason to discuss it here, maybe it’s just cathartic to talk about. But anyway, thanks for the space to rant.
He has multiple gay partners and still sleeps around with strangers on grindr. WTF?
I read this and felt like I needed to get depozzed.
>Went on a date that ended up in leading up to sex at their place, but I said, repeatedly, I needed to use condoms. He ignored me and then entered me dry and finished inside me. I was stunned and was just quiet, lying there stiff as a board. I went home and went to bed. Didn’t even want to tell anyone. But then I told my partners (were open, but strangers require condoms, always) and they encouraged me to go to the hospital. I did a forensic analysis there, swabbed every orifice and got the police involved. After I thought about it, I may be doing the world a favor by reporting it. It’s not okay.
>here’s the crazy part: one of my partners is really angry and while I was at the hospital getting evaluated, he found my rapist on Grindr. I didn’t tell him to do this, but he took some matters into his own hands, for better or worse. He changed his own profile to a pic of my rapist that says “I’m a lil rapist, see bio” and in the bio it said that this guy assaulted my boyfriend, if you have any info message me. Guess what? The profile got over 300 views today and he got dozens of messages from people on Grindr who said they went on dates with the same guy and he was very rude and had similar experiences to me. So I’m not alone.
>The sexual assault nurse told me she is very busy and this kind of event happens very often unfortunately, because people don’t take consent seriously. I had to take a shot in my leg, an assortment of antibiotics, and two anti-HIV drugs now. Sucks.
>I have a therapist and she is looped in on this already and so are my doctors so I’m in good hands. But I live in Seattle and this is exactly why we passed that new groundbreaking sex ed bill that establishes/overhauls sexual consent education. I think we need to teach kids about consent and teenagers about sexual consent so that we don’t just have a culture that accepts that this happens frequently. I mean even I was instinctively going to just tell no one and try to forget about it, because of the fear and shame and guilt and stigma against male rape victims (I was having gay sex, I bottomed).
>Im sharing this because it feels lonely, and the social worker told me the most helpful move toward healing is talking about it as much as is wise. Maybe it’s a good reminder for consent, maybe it’s a good reason to discuss it here, maybe it’s just cathartic to talk about. But anyway, thanks for the space to rant.
He has multiple gay partners and still sleeps around with strangers on grindr. WTF?
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