I had to check their website to confirm this thing is real.

The $229.95 version is the same thing, but longer.

Some of this crap is clearly a status symbol. People will buy this knowing full well that it’s overpriced so that they can show off how much money they had. This is just like buying a $1500.00 brand name hoodie (something I heard recently).

This “Piece of Cloth” is the most Apple thing Apple has ever Apple’d.

Introducing: The Apple Sock (2025 Edition). A revolutionary breakthrough in fabric-based containment technology.

Born from the radical idea that devices deserve clothes too, Apple presents: A Piece of Cloth. Crafted in Japan. Inspired by the concept of “cloth.”

Because when you think “innovation,” you think textile.

Features:

A Material Revelation: It’s… a sock. But not just any sock, a sock for your device. Because regular socks are for peasants.

Minimalism Reimagined: No zippers. No buttons. Just vibes and a $149.95 price tag.

A Pocket, Reborn: Inspired by “the idea of an additional pocket,” this sock boldly asks: what if pockets had pockets?

Two Strap Designs:

Short Strap: For when you want to feel frugal at $149.95.

Long Strap: For people who like their accessories to cost as much as an iPhone SE.

Colors: Eight short strap colors, three long, because scarcity drives desire. And yes, they have names like “Moon Whisper,” “Storm Ecru,” and “Pacific Beige #2.”

Designed by Yoshiyuki Miyamae. Say it five times fast while holding your breath and justifying your preorder.

Availability: Only in select Apple Stores and only in countries where irony can be appreciated.

Marketing Tagline:

“Not just a sock. A statement.”

Early Reviews: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ “Finally, my iPhone feels… clothed.” Someone with too much disposable income. ⭐️⭐️⭐️ “It’s like a $5 microfiber pouch, but with the weight of Apple’s self-importance.” - Tech reviewer, sobbing quietly.

If Apple keeps this up, by 2030 we’ll have the Apple Napkin Pro Max Ultra, featuring “the revolutionary ability to absorb liquid” and a USB-C port.