I'm kinda surprised they didn't use niggers, as they always do.
I'm kinda surprised they didn't use niggers, as they always do.
Anyone who buys this should not be allowed to vote. Furthermore, they should be shipped off to an insane asylum.
Anyone who buys this should not be allowed to vote. Furthermore, they should be shipped off to an insane asylum.
This “Piece of Cloth” is the most Apple thing Apple has ever Apple’d.
Introducing: The Apple Sock (2025 Edition). A revolutionary breakthrough in fabric-based containment technology.
Born from the radical idea that devices deserve clothes too, Apple presents: A Piece of Cloth. Crafted in Japan. Inspired by the concept of “cloth.”
Because when you think “innovation,” you think textile.
Features:
A Material Revelation: It’s… a sock. But not just any sock, a sock for your device. Because regular socks are for peasants.
Minimalism Reimagined: No zippers. No buttons. Just vibes and a $149.95 price tag.
A Pocket, Reborn: Inspired by “the idea of an additional pocket,” this sock boldly asks: what if pockets had pockets?
Two Strap Designs:
Short Strap: For when you want to feel frugal at $149.95.
Long Strap: For people who like their accessories to cost as much as an iPhone SE.
Colors: Eight short strap colors, three long, because scarcity drives desire. And yes, they have names like “Moon Whisper,” “Storm Ecru,” and “Pacific Beige #2.”
Designed by Yoshiyuki Miyamae. Say it five times fast while holding your breath and justifying your preorder.
Availability: Only in select Apple Stores and only in countries where irony can be appreciated.
Marketing Tagline:
“Not just a sock. A statement.”
Early Reviews: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ “Finally, my iPhone feels… clothed.” Someone with too much disposable income. ⭐️⭐️⭐️ “It’s like a $5 microfiber pouch, but with the weight of Apple’s self-importance.” - Tech reviewer, sobbing quietly.
If Apple keeps this up, by 2030 we’ll have the Apple Napkin Pro Max Ultra, featuring “the revolutionary ability to absorb liquid” and a USB-C port.
This “Piece of Cloth” is the most Apple thing Apple has ever Apple’d.
Introducing: The Apple Sock (2025 Edition).
A revolutionary breakthrough in fabric-based containment technology.
Born from the radical idea that devices deserve clothes too, Apple presents:
A Piece of Cloth. Crafted in Japan. Inspired by the concept of “cloth.”
Because when you think “innovation,” you think textile.
Features:
A Material Revelation: It’s… a sock. But not just any sock, a sock for your device. Because regular socks are for peasants.
Minimalism Reimagined: No zippers. No buttons. Just vibes and a $149.95 price tag.
A Pocket, Reborn: Inspired by “the idea of an additional pocket,” this sock boldly asks: what if pockets had pockets?
Two Strap Designs:
Short Strap: For when you want to feel frugal at $149.95.
Long Strap: For people who like their accessories to cost as much as an iPhone SE.
Colors:
Eight short strap colors, three long, because scarcity drives desire. And yes, they have names like “Moon Whisper,” “Storm Ecru,” and “Pacific Beige #2.”
Designed by Yoshiyuki Miyamae.
Say it five times fast while holding your breath and justifying your preorder.
Availability:
Only in select Apple Stores and only in countries where irony can be appreciated.
Marketing Tagline:
“Not just a sock. A statement.”
Early Reviews:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ “Finally, my iPhone feels… clothed.” Someone with too much disposable income.
⭐️⭐️⭐️ “It’s like a $5 microfiber pouch, but with the weight of Apple’s self-importance.” - Tech reviewer, sobbing quietly.
If Apple keeps this up, by 2030 we’ll have the Apple Napkin Pro Max Ultra, featuring “the revolutionary ability to absorb liquid” and a USB-C port.
A napkin with a USB port.
I wouldn't pay to see that, but I would like to see how they spin it.
A napkin with a USB port.
I wouldn't pay to see that, but I would like to see how they spin it.
The Jews are really pushing to feminize the white man. Now they're trying to get them to carry purses...
The Jews are really pushing to feminize the white man. Now they're trying to get them to carry purses...
It's very obviously real. They had to create some new stupid-as-shit status symbol that their brand used to be.
It's very obviously real. They had to create some new stupid-as-shit status symbol that their brand used to be.