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She doesn’t know that I know. I just found out. Separate bank account with almost 5k in it being added to weekly.

I pay for all the bills and have for years and years. Always being told she spends her money “on the kids”

Not really sure where to go with this new knowledge but had to get it off my chest somewhere. We have 5 kids. Feeling a little bit betrayed.

She doesn’t know that I know. I just found out. Separate bank account with almost 5k in it being added to weekly. I pay for all the bills and have for years and years. Always being told she spends her money “on the kids” Not really sure where to go with this new knowledge but had to get it off my chest somewhere. We have 5 kids. Feeling a little bit betrayed.

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[–] • 1 pt

Sounds like instinctive behaviour from growing up poor. It could be subconsciously programmed from watching her parents, or even from a past life. So definitely don't assume it's nefarious. (And even if it is nefarious, you're still better off with her not thinking you suspect her of nefariousness.) It needs to be talked out respectfully and supportively. Just let her know, without being angry about it, that the breach of trust is not okay and you expect her to be upfront with you.