You are the victim of a broken culture. You have been attacked economcally and psychologically. They know you will finish the job for them. This is how their weapons work. The strong will see beyond the immediate chaos they will have patience because they have a historic understanding of what is being done and that it is TEMPORARY. That is why we are here on this site, to confirm the truth to each other so that we do not go insane, and to support each other. You are especially susceptible to their weapons because, in your teens and twenties, you feel things very intensely. There are benefits to being an old post wall roastie, take my word. With age, you can be a bit more philosophical about what is being done to us, you have the benefit of experience to know that this shit wont last. It wont. I know you have some inner turmoil too, but some of that will sort itself out, trust me. People like you here. Do you know that?