chill out bro, those genetically modified farm gorillas and the one white dude they allow on the field to be foreman earned every cent of those billions (plus endorsements)
you know why? because fuck Generic Division Rival, that's why! I fucking hate cities that are somewhat close by to my own so fucking much, I'm going to spend $58 on a t-shirt and nearly poison myself with diarrhea nachos and flat, watered down beer, watch me
Don't forget to riot and wreck your hometown if hometown sportsball team gets fewer sports points than rival sportsball team.
oh shit, did something I disagree with happen to the billion dollar franchise that is literally my only emotional investment in life, even though I've never had any influence over it, and never, ever will?
better burn all this useless shit I just blew my entire paycheck on, that's the only solution I see. I bet Twitter is super interested, better record it for all posterity too
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