I grew up in a family of liars, drug addicts and back stabbers so it's like I was primed to accept bad behavior and not recognize the signs. After this I seriously examined my personal values and ways to detect when people are of the mind set to burn me. I researched gas lighting techniques, narcissism, sociopathy, psychopathy, scapegoating and other forms of bad behavior. At one point during the early days of working with the court system to get the marriage annulled my aunt told me I should just accept a normal divorce, I was being vengeful and spiteful and cruel, etc, etc, blah blah. So according to her I was just supposed to give in, be forced to pay alimony and have this woman come back and sue for money which was her game plan all along. She gets a permanent green card since she was going to lie and claim battered wife status and I have to pay for all her expenses. No effing way. That's when I started having recollections of all the times my family did me dirty and then told me to just forgive and be a good Christian and wait till next time when they do it all over again. After this I severed all connections with my family and they don't even know what I'm doing or where I'm at. In a way I'm glad I experienced this and did my research to understand why I fell into this trap and how to check people out so I make sure I don't let people victimize me again. Being a victim should be a learning experience to fool proof yourself not a life style.