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There are so many links to koala hospitals, twitter is full of cute koalas drinking, but there's nothing for kangaroos.

Pisses me off. Kangaroos are neglected. And snakes, don't forget the snakes.

There are so many links to koala hospitals, twitter is full of cute koalas drinking, but there's nothing for kangaroos. Pisses me off. Kangaroos are neglected. And snakes, don't forget the snakes.

(post is archived)

[–] [deleted] 9 pts

Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

[–] [deleted] 3 pts

I never thought I would hate koalas, but after reading that I hope all those fuckers burn to a crisp.

I have no idea how much is true, it's a copypasta. The chlamydia is true though.

[–] [deleted] 2 pts

Regardless of its veracity, it's too late now! The koala hate propaganda has taken deep root.

Might taste like bacon, with a hint of eucalyptus.

[–] 3 pts

Spot on. Except the disease riddled retards are Marsupials, not mammals.

I fucking hate koalas.

[–] 3 pts

Marsupials ARE mammals, you numbskull!

*BONK!

[–] 3 pts

Well, shit. I always thought they were two separate classes.

All marsupials are mammals, but not all mammals are marsupials.

Thanks!

Very interesting. It seems they aren't very advanced. One of the issues with isolated and conserved eco-systems without predators is you get a species like these. I guess it was only a matter of time until the fire would get to them, or predators would enter.

Kangaroos on the other hand, seem fucking badass compared to your description. What do you know about them?

[–] 4 pts

Emotional bait.
They're winning women over to make them more malleable.

True. Reduce us to tears then tax the fuck out of us to save koalas.

[–] [deleted] 3 pts

Because the polar bears didn't die like they were supposed to so they had to figure out an easy to kill bear that would be all cuddly for the banners..

That did occur to me. A sad polar bear sitting on a tiny ice floe has been the official climate change symbol forever, but now everyone knows there are actually thousands of polar bears so it ruins the narrative.

Henceforth the new Climate Emergency (it's not merely "change" these days) symbol will be the delicately crisped koala.

Here's to hoping the climate activists all fall to drop bear attacks in the near future

[–] 2 pts

Everything aside from koalas are scary and venemous!

[–] 2 pts (edited )
[–] 2 pts

Nine out of ten

The good old days... when you could slowly kill yourself and feel good about it.

[–] 1 pt

You still can if you want to. I'll allow it.

[–] 1 pt

Women's emotional reactions drive product sales. Not saying it's the reason, merely that most of the ideology society hyper-focuses on is psychologically profiled to target women's relatively easily manipulated dopamine response. Everything from desire, envy, lust, to outrage.

Very little of what you see online is organic anymore, in my opinion. I recognize I have unpopular opinions, but they're driven by data and evidence.

[–] 1 pt

Maximum Emotional Effect.

[–] 0 pt

If you are going to include the snakes, let's not leave out the Outback's other cuddly creatures - salt water crocs and spiders that eat birds.

Koalas eat their mothers shit.

Because they look cute. But actually, they can be vicious occasionally.

[–] 0 pt

The goal of the Jew is to attack and kill all that is good. Human ... nature ...

Yes, they are anti-Logos. They seem not to understand it, so try to emulate it to fit in. But their ultimate goal is to destroy it. They are not driven by the love of themselves, but by the hatred of all that is not them.

I don't understand what your point has to do with koalas though.

[–] 1 pt

I meant that the Jew is always destroying not only the human but also nature. They are behind the fires

[–] 0 pt

All them damn eucalyptus trees. They catch fire faster than a box of safety matches. The same thing happens in southern California (sans koala).