You all pretty much know I lost my husband and I can't/won't move on. However the idea of spending the rest of my life alone is depressing at best. Then there's the dating pool of men I have access to and that leads to more depression. I'm 37. By the time I'm ready for a new guy I'll be in my early 40s. I had kids in my 20s, I was a happy housewife. I did what I was supposed to do and I'm probably going to die alone anyway. When my elders told me life isn't fair they weren't joking. Life is a big joke, on me. I hate my life.