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Conundrum time.

You all pretty much know I lost my husband and I can't/won't move on. However the idea of spending the rest of my life alone is depressing at best. Then there's the dating pool of men I have access to and that leads to more depression. I'm 37. By the time I'm ready for a new guy I'll be in my early 40s. I had kids in my 20s, I was a happy housewife. I did what I was supposed to do and I'm probably going to die alone anyway. When my elders told me life isn't fair they weren't joking. Life is a big joke, on me. I hate my life.

You all pretty much know I lost my husband and I can't/won't move on. However the idea of spending the rest of my life alone is depressing at best. Then there's the dating pool of men I have access to and that leads to more depression. I'm 37. By the time I'm ready for a new guy I'll be in my early 40s. I had kids in my 20s, I was a happy housewife. I did what I was supposed to do and I'm probably going to die alone anyway. When my elders told me life isn't fair they weren't joking. Life is a big joke, on me. I hate my life.

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[–] • 1 pt

I eat super healthy. Mostly protein. And I basically work out for a living. I'm on my feet all day lifting heavy things. I'm not feeling sorry for myself or having a bad day. I'm looking realistically at my situation. The most eligible bachelor I know is 43, fat, and has brown teeth from chewing Copenhagen. All the guys here are alcoholics who think the bar is the only thing to do.

[–] • 1 pt

Bar is a good place to waste money. So yeah they aren't selling their budget skills are they.

[–] • 0 pt (edited )

Then do research to find a better community, get the rest of your life together, sell the stuff you don't need and your house, and move. I hear nice things about Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.

[–] • 0 pt

It's not that easy. We moved the kids across the country to live here, they have settled into their school, etc. I'm not moving them again.

[–] • 0 pt

You want to raise your kids where all the role models are overweight and chew tobacco? Well, that's a choice.

[–] • 0 pt

There's no reason why a guy wouldn't relocate to you, as BurnInHelena pointed out there's the same number of single guys out there who suck at finding the right person.

Men tend to be pretty self sufficient and may be disillusioned with online dating, so figure out the kind of guy you like and then work out where they are probably hanging out.

As hopefully a useful suggestion, "meatlady" maybe isn't the kind of forum name that says 'feminine'? so you may be doing yourself a disservice here.

Online dating is a numbers game, you have to be out there to get noticed. Beyond that, while you are outside of a relationship, have a look at any personal baggage that might affect a future relationship, maybe learn some new conversational/empathy skills. Because beyond looks, men really want someone to understand them. There's a bit of a learning curve going from widowed to back into dating, so relearning how to talk to guys will put you way ahead of all the "save me from my poor life decisions" types

[–] • 0 pt

You are not alone really.

What I will say is that when you are ready treat dating like a job interview make sure to screen the people for the traits you are looking for. Realistically, the men you would match with are in their 50’s.