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‘Siri, how do dogs work?’ Presidential hopeful Michael Bloomberg is apparently unfamiliar with canine anatomy [video]

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BREAKING: The FBI arrested the guy responsible for keeping poop off of San Francisco’s streets

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New York Post: FBI reviewing ‘false claim’ that Ilhan Omar married her brother, handed ‘trove of documents’

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Brit Hume DROPS the NYT and their convenient timing on the ‘breaking news’ around John Bolton’s unpublished manuscript

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Carol Roth: Capitalism isn’t a liberal vs conservative thing; It’s a ‘freedom and choice vs force and control thing’

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Piers Morgan responds to call for his firing for making a joke after being told there are more than 100 genders

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‘I didn’t think it was gonna do that’: VICE journo reporting on gun safety points loaded Thompson gun at cameraman and pulls the trigger [video]

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‘Am I doing the satire right’? Carpe Donktum gives CNN a much-needed taste of political analyst Joe Lockhart’s BS medicine

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Rep. Adam Schiff lays out why President Trump must be removed before the 2020 election

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‘Yasss, drag her, Queen!’ Tulsi Gabbard’s defamation suit against Hillary Clinton hits Hillary where it really hurts [screenshot]

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‘Are you going to be OK’? CNN’s Manu Raju offers another glimpse at the ‘overbearing restrictions’ stopping brave journos from doing their jobs [photo]

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Alyssa Milano gets her phone taken away ahead of today’s Senate impeachment trial

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‘I’m in ur Brooklyn, drinking ur whiskey’: Brooklyn Borough Pres tells Iowans to ‘go back where they came from’ and Iowahawk has thoughts

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Ex-Clinton WH press secretary and CNN analyst Joe Lockhart thinks Twitter ‘should investigate’ Ted Cruz over a tweet, but Cruz has a better idea

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‘Disappointed’? CNN hopes this chyron will make up for the lack of violence and murder at Richmond gun rights rally [pic]

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‘The perfect self-own’: Extinction Rebellion protesters buried their heads in the sand to protest climate change

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WaPo upgrades Sen. Martha McSally’s remark to a ‘vile little performance’ and a ‘chilling insult’

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D’OH! Bernie Sanders’ question about sacrifices made ‘in order to afford health insurance’ is ALL backfire (for Dems AND Obama)

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Brace for (more) Dem head explosions! Mitch McConnell’s NOT buying what Pelosi, Schiff & Nadler are trying to sell

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‘Huh? How?’ Daily Beast seems to think that Virginia General Assembly’s vote on the Equal Rights Amendment ‘could trigger a Constitutional convention’

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‘CNN is CANCELED’? Carlos Maza, Marxist pig and serial boycotter of conservatives, says ‘Democrats should be blacklisting’ CNN over last night’s debate coverage

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DAYUM! Sean Davis’ mega-thread on ‘Avenatti’s All-Stars’ should EMBARRASS the media

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Adam Baldwin drops Anthony Scaramucci on his head over his latest dumb hot take on why Trump will lose

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Have FUN with that! Stephen King learns the hard way what happens when you accidentally admit you’re not really ‘woke’

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‘Completely flustered’: John Kerry slams Trump tweet about Iran Deal funding terrorism, then is shown what he said in 2016 (hint: AWKWARD)

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