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[–] • 2 pts

If you're really dedicated, you can shorten it even further, but it takes dedication and a lot of attention to the weather.

First you shave your scalp and customize a sod toupee to fit your skull shape. Then you can plant crops on your head and eat the produce as it ripens and falls directly into your mouth. This is a life changing decision and not recommended for everyone. You have to be a real farmophile to commit to this lifestyle.

Note: the downside is you'll have to go outside every time it rains.

[–] • 3 pts

You could water it in the shower. The main problem is size, it takes at least an acre of land to feed an adult. The average head size is 55cm for women, 57cm for men. That's an area of about 40 square inches (I think) and an acre is 43560 square feet, so an average person's head is just not big enough for this to work.

[–] • 3 pts

I am glad you did the math cause I wasnt sure if it would work

[–] • 1 pt (edited )

What about cherry tomatoes? They're small. And you can grow a crop of string beans like dreads.

edit: Farmophobia should be against the law. https://pic8.co/sh/ceIPkF.png

[–] • 0 pt

Never try this with peanuts!

I still have a few to dig out of my ears!

For that matter just don't try it with anything that grows underground! Potatoes, carrots, etc.

Pole bean vines going down your back will appear to be dreadlocks to most people. They will never know the difference!