Same here brother. I got picked on constantly as a kid/teen. By niggers and whiggers at my school. I never fought back because "be a good boy" brainwashing worked. But I did end up becoming 'friends' with the same kids who sought to make my life a living hell. Sort of an unintentional "if you can't beat them, join them" thing that for the sake of god I wish would've never happened because it sent me down a very dark road that took me decades to find my way back from.