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I have attempted to choose the words in my question quite carefully, so before anyone jumps down my throat:

  • "capable" - having both significant independent earning power in the job market AND the skills to maintain a household and educate children broadly
  • "elects" - supposing the wife and husband each are highly educated and have high earning power and ability to support a family with one of the two incomes, the husband chooses to spend time raising and educating the children instead of progressing in career, knowing that his skills will remain marketable should the need arise to return to work

Think back to pioneer times, or rural farms/ranches. Essentially, before "public school" existed (and even well into its establishment), both parents "worked" and "stayed at home" to contribute in raising children and working the land, cattle, homestead, workshop, whatever.

These days "work" necessary to make money to support a family, takes one or both parents "out" of the home and "away" from children... and children must often go to government-run school too.

Given the opportunity to have one or the other possible "breadwinners" stay home and even possibly homeschool, it seems that we most often societally choose for the wife/mother to do so. I wonder if this is necessarily a "mothers must raise the children and keep the house" decision, or how much does the "well father can make more money than mother can, and that works out better for all" play a role.

I would totally trade off years with my wife "running the house" so that, in this non-farming/ranching world, children see their parents and get plenty of interaction with both while growing and developing and learning. I'm talking husband and wife with high income and high demand for their skills in the workforce, so there is no worry of "falling behind" or being unemployable.

Also seems to make divorce-rape very difficult... if the wife is an equal or greater provider (like pioneer days), low incentive.

I have attempted to choose the words in my question quite carefully, so before anyone jumps down my throat: * "capable" - having both significant independent earning power in the job market AND the skills to maintain a household and educate children broadly * "elects" - supposing the wife and husband each are highly educated and have high earning power and ability to support a family with one of the two incomes, the husband chooses to spend time raising and educating the children instead of progressing in career, knowing that his skills will remain marketable should the need arise to return to work Think back to pioneer times, or rural farms/ranches. Essentially, before "public school" existed (and even well into its establishment), both parents "worked" and "stayed at home" to contribute in raising children and working the land, cattle, homestead, workshop, whatever. These days "work" necessary to make money to support a family, takes one or both parents "out" of the home and "away" from children... and children must often go to government-run school too. Given the opportunity to have one or the other possible "breadwinners" stay home and even possibly homeschool, it seems that we most often societally choose for the wife/mother to do so. I wonder if this is *necessarily* a "mothers must raise the children and keep the house" decision, or how much does the "well father can make more money than mother can, and that works out better for all" play a role. I would totally trade off years with my wife "running the house" so that, in this non-farming/ranching world, children see their parents and get plenty of interaction with both while growing and developing and learning. I'm talking husband and wife with high income and high demand for their skills in the workforce, so there is no worry of "falling behind" or being unemployable. Also seems to make divorce-rape very difficult... if the wife is an equal or greater provider (like pioneer days), low incentive.

(post is archived)

[–] • 3 pts (edited )

Me and my wife work in the same field. She made a little less money but her job had better benefits, more security, and better working conditions. Lets be honest, its also easier for competent women to get special treatment, which lands you side jobs that bring in more money.

Rather than send my children to daycare, i quit my lame job where i was underpaid and a friggen white male, and i do stuff at home on the side for extra income. Staying at home is amazing.

Who cares if its traditional or not if it works. Im Christian, no i dont think its traditional at all, but in this upside down satanic hellhole, backwards is what works sometimes. Gotta roll with what youre given and count your blessings.

[–] • 1 pt

Wow, thanks for your perspective. Hope maybe you can share in this sub some of what you do, it may not seem exceptional but it can help others. You've figured out a particular way forward in this clown world that seems to be doing well.

[–] • 2 pts

Its cliché as anything but its a day by day thing. It helps idgaf about what other people think so it doesnt hurt my masculinity or anything to stay at home with the children. Ill never regret spending time with them. God bless you.

[–] • 2 pts

My take on it is this, if it works for the family better then so be it. There will always be a bell curve and people will fall all over it. Generally I think women naturally more often are better equipped for home making but it’s not a universal constant at all.

[–] • 2 pts

I've read too many stories about this going wrong. I could see it as a temporary fix, like a year or two tops, but in the long term the wife starts to come unhinged because women aren't meant to be in that role. She has all the demands of a man while not being one, to keep a long story short.

Same thing applies to dad. Women build social networks that benefit the children. They dominate at it. Setting up play dates, maintaining relationships, and all the general social minutiae that men generally hate. Mom can't do all that at work.

[–] • 1 pt

I don't think it's traditional but I think I can be better than both parents working and children being in daycare.

I do think it can be the harder path to go down as well. It does go agianst natural tendencies(usually) and that can be hard but also things like making play dates for the kids or going to the park mid day; your more likely to find other mom's not dad's.