LAR is a man of much acclaim, A bigwig in the composite game. His factory makes parts for Helos that gracefully glide and soar. And lift huge loads far overhead But it's also his fault that many are dead. His men below, some numbers did fudge So his vice prez then faced the judge Because some firefighters, noble and true Fell tragically, down, out of the blue. Now LAR, himself, took no bit of blame And carries within him no bit of shame For the deaths caused by his company's greed No, he has never felt the need To claim remorse for those who are lost, But greatly bemoans the gigantic cost Of legal fees and FAA fines. As he has stated multiple times, "I'm perfect! I'm blameless! Now all you, my slaves, "Shall work for me until in your graves! "And for your labor, I shall pay thee "A pittance! A pittance! Yes, now thank me! "For all that I do, and all that I've done! "You know, working for free can be awfully fun! "So NO OVERTIME and NO FUCKING BREAKS, "But once a year I will bring round the cake "For MY birthday YOU shall all sing "While I dance to the charming ring "Of your voices off the hanger walls "Then off I go to the shopping mall "To purchase another wig or two or three! "And daydream what they'll think of me "At tonights karaoke, oh you must all come "To see me while I dance and hum "And sing along songs by Cher "I'll blow you away, so grab a chair! "See you later at 6 o'clock! "If I don't, then you can walk "Right out that door, you useless knaves "Then fellate a zipgun and go to your graves!" And with that, out LAR did skip Practicing his scales and shaking a hip While the hanger echoed his falsetto high And from the employees came a large sigh It was over for now but if the wanted to eat, They must attend this night's "treat" Or lose their jobs right on the spot So they must attend though they'd rather not Spend the night watching an old queen Dance and sing and be ruthlessly mean To all other singers there at the bar And watch as he pushed jokes much too far And constantly call all of them queers Though he was the gayest one of them here. So they all called home and said "Working late :(" Lying to hide that their bitter fate.