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538

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I'm pretty sure I molested 3 nurses last night. When your penis is this huge, it's a daily inevitability.

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A rusted, navy-colored gooseneck horse trailer lay overturned and at angle to the state highway. No dually to be seen. A nervous horse with a broken leg lay near the fenceline, exhausted. "Third time this year," the deputy uttered, the wind the only witness. She spat.

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479

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Thunder had made its home in the valley tonight. Lightning moved in at a frightening pace... 3 strikes within 25 miles... 10... 5... And no closer fidelity would be obtained. All the campers were accounted for in the shelter. All that remained was for Nicholas to declare "all clear".

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407

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You awake in a gorgeous field. It's mid-morning and you feel the sun on your skin. You have clothes on but no shoes. You hear a nigger war cry in the distance... What happens next?

6

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Ever since October he'd been involved. First it was intercepting her letters - love letters mostly (two men!) - but occasionally a stakeout. Not that it mattered much; she seemed an angel. He wondered what she could have done that NQD wanted her watched.

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769

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My mother was an elf. And my father a sword wielder. In between all the cracks is how I grew up, and wise.

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529

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Laura Lee's glasses were in midair 12 inches from her face and increasing. The blow had taken her by complete surprise. This sort of thing on the 40-yard line used to result in a red card, but the game had evolved significantly in the past 25 years. (con't)

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235

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"Not sure what else to tell ya, friendo. Law says you need more beer. Not my rules, I just enforce 'em. Gonna write you up. Have a nice day sir," the officer said, turning away from Sam.

12

770

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Marlene broke the long silence: "I wanna know what happens when you take the penis away." A reply began to formulate in Peter's brain, and became real in his vocal chords: "Well,..."

5

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He was one of those guys who didn't wash their hands after touching his dick. And it wouldn't have been so bad, except...

2

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The sunlight trickled through his window, and he groaned and rolled over onto his left shoulder, only to find that his left shoulder and arm were no longer there...

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191

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"ROAD MAY FLOOD" was the text on the yellow road sign. Given the circumstances, it felt like irony to Kayla - the entire valley had flooded, much less the road. She could have boated to the highway rest stop a mile distant. Nobody had boats out here, though - the desert made fools out of boat owners

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326

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Up ahead on the freeway, John saw half of a mobile home passing another semi. "Oversized loads are usually the ones getting passed, not the ones passing," he thought. Within a minute he had caught up to the vinyl-wrapped load and was himself passing it. [continued]

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Many folks'd say you don't truly know a man until you fight them. That hadn't been Ray Martin's experience, though.

8

135

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The three of us couldn't agree on what to do next. Ryan was bordering on hysteria and his judgement was... unsound. Jonathan was using the incident to advance his pet theories about the town. Mine was the only rational course of action.

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709

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The scene would strike most as appalling and horrific, but to Ben it was just Sunday. This time, however, it was clear he'd need a knife that could cut muscle - across the grain.

1

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There were a few glowing briquettes left, so I decided to warm up some cookies. Whatever happened next was between Gerald, Georgia, and God... because the next sensation was a prickly pear's spine in my third thoracic vertebrae, followed by a whoosh of a passing vehicle. Gerald was my dog.

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Their conference room was sterile - glass walls and windows, grays and whites and blacks. The window shades were pulled halfway down to mitigate the afternoon sun. While Andrea prepared for the big meeting, her boss was railing Melissa 4 stories above.

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Thumpity thump thump

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Somewhere about 15 miles south of town, where the train crosses, he came to. Again. This time he swerved off and came to a skidding halt in the gravel, hopped out, and made sure his boots were still in the back seat.

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316

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Thomas sighed and tried to explain it again: "I don't know how I ended up here. I don't know how this works. All I can say for sure is I have to invent the self-healing egg shell."

7

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Thunder cracked out and down the valley. Rain wouldn't commence in Elizabethtown for another 10 minutes, but by that time Jesse would be finished with the night's work. "Two more to go," he thought, sharpening his knife for the next body.

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Samantha couldn't understand it. The numbers just weren't coming out right. For the first time in a long time, she faced losing a bowling match.

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563

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"Most people get along just fine without dropping bodies each night," the detective thought to himself. "Damn these new breed of serial killers." The parallel thought at 3:00-odd AM was which he'd want to engage first: bacon, boobs, or bullets.

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Even the pizza tasted drab, like a black-and-white movie. The slice would never be finished; it and the paper plate slid into the trash can on his way out the door. This morning, Amy was going to pay.

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