The old chinaman who cuts my hair always tells me:

You have such thick hair for balding guy. Especially on you back.

I always take it with a grain of salt. Compliments are a dime a dozen.

You real short. Maybe 4 fut 9. Gonna have to lower chair for you.

Glad to bring it to his eye level. Silly chink.

I taken glasses off you. They so thick, how you see out them coke bottles?

All the better to see your tiny penis, m'barber.

You want look in back? Not good area to see...

My back'ne is none of your concern, immigrant.

ok you done, please will shower before next visit?

You wish.

I'm so glad I started shaving my head. I hated getting haircuts. Never have to sit in that chair again.