Drop the jewce. Hit the gym.
The way positivity and optimism hits during and after workout is phenomenal.
Oh, I get it Theo.
I have lost other friends to addictive behavior. There are no magic words anyone who cared for them could say that would have changed the situation. The nature of addiction is such that it always finds a way to justify its continuance. I wish I could say we could beat this addiction together by just being strong and praying for divine intervention. God has given you many the chances to change, but the it's all too easy to choose the demons of addiction over God's help. It is the flaw of man to do so.
I don't want you to go down that path. I don't want to find out that the demons won and Theo is gone. I don't want to feel, again, that I should have tried harder to heal a friend before it was too late. I know I can't heal you, but I also know that I can't just sit back and watch it happen. I have never cracked this nut and fixed a losing situation. I am once again powerless to help out. That doesn't erase my guilt or make me feel like I didn't try hard enough. I can't fix that either.
We care about you, Theo. We are powerless to help because it is your battle alone. We can't force you nor can we talk sense into you. You are the only person who can save you. You can choose to have some missing toes or have two bloody stumps or no longer be here in the mortal world. We can't choose for you but we still have to watch it all play out and utter words that will only encourage you to keep shooting. The demons of addiction win when you choose for them to win. We don't want that. I don't want that. The demons want that. What do you want? (that's a rhetorical question)
You're better than the bottle bro.
It's easy to drink.
"The human heart is like a millstone in a mill: when you put wheat under it, it turns and grinds and bruises the wheat to flour; if you put no wheat, it still grinds on, but then 'tis itself it grinds and wears away. So the human heart, unless it be occupied with some employment, leaves space for the devil, who wriggles himself in and brings with him a whole host of evil thoughts, temptations, and tribulations, which grind out the heart."
/ Martin Luther
TLDR: Occupy yourself so much that you've no time to sin.
Well Theo whatever you choose is up to you. Of course. Having grown up in a family of alcoholics I am initmately familiar with alcoholism and it's effects.
Just recently I lost a young family member to just what you are doing- "holed up in an apartment drinking whisky".
I know exactly what you are doing.
hope you find it in yourself to get well.
I wish I could give you some sage advice. Just do this here and you'll be good to go. I've got nothing. Only you can figure this out. I hope you do it soon.
Bottles on bottles he sat on a throne of bad choices, Where each restless sip he sung a sad tune of the voiceless "Just do it, one more drink, you can't drink when you're dead." And although he knew that the voice was skewed, Although he churned with the thoughts he knew, An angel came and replaced his name with that of a man, Left to rot by himself in a block by himself made of work by a man Who knows not who is but knows too well where's his drink. Assured that the gift is not what they think, Who can save the world with a thought and some ink. Lest he crumbles to his feet and orders another drink. Because each restless sip he sung a sad tune to the voiceless.
As a former alky myself I know exactly what you mean. I don't know how many versions of, "Of course I have to quit, but first I just gotta get through tonight, and I need the booze to do that. Then tomorrow I'll be in the right headspace to get my shit together."
The thing is your never in the right headspace to do it. That's partly why you're a boozehound - fucked up headspace. You have to do it in spite of not being ready to. Until you do it will just keep taking from you.
I'll pray for you.
