despite meeting alot of asshole men, i never felt like my life and health were in danger, like I did around niggers when I moved to the east. The white men were just very rude. my stepdad and stepbrother from one of my ma's marriages were the biggest assholes i ever met and i had to deal with on a daily basis, for 8 years. I cooked and cleaned for them, and they thought i should be grateful for the opportunity because I was a lazy fucktard , they thought. They kicked dogs and my x-step-bro threw a wrench at one of our dogs and laughed. I didnt see it happen, but i heard it and saw the dog run out limping. He denied hurting him. later the dog died, partially from that encounter; he had a limp on every leg. those two gave me such heartbreak over animals. But, I was far less comfortable around women, partially because my ma was such a cunt and the only women in my life were cunts, she demonized the women in our family, so I didnt trust my family. I couldnt figure out how to properly socialize with women, or anyone for that matter. I became a asshole and unsociable except for around my co-workers. Rejection due to my strange behavior became a casual lifestyle. I decided i could handle asshole men, because at least they were smart, and their asshole-ness was strait forward. I couldnt wrap my head around the mindgames of women, and i didnt want a job working around them. I needed a place where people would be indifferent to my callousness and anger, so i pursued a male dominated career, I picked one i thought i could make the most money at. I didnt care that men didnt want me there, because it didnt really seem anyone wanted me anywhere. In the trade I learned that women would marry their husbands, have kids, then divorce them and farm them for child support. They had to work everyday for the rest of their life and couldnt afford to help themselves physically or mentally. I saw one guy leak from his eyes a little after telling that story to the group during lunch. This, I think, is what caused the general population of men to be so salty and angry all the time. Men who had a loving caring wife tended to be well adjusted, and polite, only being assholes out of necessity or humor. Working in the trade me more empathetic to men and loath women that much more. It helped steal my resolve and gave me focus. After the redpill i knew exactly what I had to do to help my sanity and make the world a better place. Right after graduating my trade school, i got married and had a kid. Now i'm not a hot mess anymore. I live in a household of nerds, all white men. I cook and clean for everyone, not their laundry, just stuff kitchen related. I help provide the empathy men need from women and cant get from men. They say please, thank you, compliment my cooking, and they look out for me. I've never felt so loved, confident, appreciated... I've never been so happy in my life. Serving men that really appreciate my efforts has healed my heart, and having a woman look after them has helped heal theres. Now I spend my freetime on Poal trying to fight back the dark forces and remind men that there is hope. Like emptying the ocean with a bucket but it makes me feel productive.