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Confusing to say the least, seeing as she had already accepted, but now she's having second thoughts about whether we should be together or not. She comes from a very heavy Christian background, like super fundamentalist. How fundamentalist? Like having feelings of attraction to someone is a sin kind of bad. The problem is she loves being intimate with me, but on the other hand she feels horribly guilty and ashamed of being too intimate with me, like she legitimately feels like God will punish her and send her to hell over it (her words).

I can understand the God fearing angle, but this goes straight against the concepts of the NT, which don' t mention any of this. She also believes salvation can be lost, or rather that one can never truly be saved unless they live a blameless and sinless life. Seeing as the Bible literally mentions this is absolutely impossible to do, hence the coming of Jesus, I have absolutely no idea how she plans on accomplishing this feat either. That was the entire point of Jesus being crucified, for the forgiveness of the sins of man.

This wouldn't be a big deal, but she's already been super intimiate with me, and she thinks were simply moving too fast. This is super confusing as well, because she made no mention or even hinted at a notice that this would be or is a problem. Plus if we're engaged, I would think there would be more leeway than casually dating, but apparently not. Now im just horribly confused what's going on

Confusing to say the least, seeing as she had already accepted, but now she's having second thoughts about whether we should be together or not. She comes from a very heavy Christian background, like super fundamentalist. How fundamentalist? Like having feelings of attraction to someone is a sin kind of bad. The problem is she loves being intimate with me, but on the other hand she feels horribly guilty and ashamed of being too intimate with me, like she legitimately feels like God will punish her and send her to hell over it (her words). I can understand the God fearing angle, but this goes straight against the concepts of the NT, which don' t mention any of this. She also believes salvation can be lost, or rather that one can never truly be saved unless they live a blameless and sinless life. Seeing as the Bible literally mentions this is absolutely impossible to do, hence the coming of Jesus, I have absolutely no idea how she plans on accomplishing this feat either. That was the entire point of Jesus being crucified, for the forgiveness of the sins of man. This wouldn't be a big deal, but she's already been super intimiate with me, and she thinks were simply moving too fast. This is super confusing as well, because she made no mention or even hinted at a notice that this would be or is a problem. Plus if we're engaged, I would think there would be more leeway than casually dating, but apparently not. Now im just horribly confused what's going on

(post is archived)

[–] 3 pts (edited )

When you find the right woman the fit will be perfect with no worries, hesitations and drama such as you described. She may end up being frigid just due to her strict religious beliefs. These aren't "ideas". She committed to them. My Catholic raised Mother was the same as this young lady. No sex unless you are making a baby. It's for nothing else and she readily admitted she hated sex.

You might want to take time away from the relationship to pray and meditate on this OP. Marrying someone that has ingrained guilt around sex may be not for you. She will teach her children esp girls the same. She won't be able to help herself.

A time apart to consider IMO is prudent. Take a month or more. Marriage is for a lifetime.

That's what im thinking of doing, im gonna take a small vacation trip to my friend's place and settle down for a week or so. This isn't the first time it happened, and she mentioned it coincides heavily with her period (she's super emotional on her period), so im giving her the benefit of female emotions at play