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[–] • 10 pts

Its crazy we are just starting riot season and my grocery store already has their empty shelves and low inventory decorations up.

[–] • 0 pt

Went to my local Aldi's grocery store last night for the sole purpose of buying lunch meat for work. Going around the store, everything looked fairly well stocked up, until I got to the lunch meat section, and wouldn't you know it, the shelves were absolutely, completely stripped bare. Not a single package of sliced ham, turkey, roast beef, no nothing. It looked like a rabid pack of ravenous wolves had descended on the area and took every last morsel available. Strangely enough, the junk .98 cents a package bologna was still in stock, which is what I walked out with. Unbelievable...

[–] • 9 pts

Wait, what?! I'm so behind here. I was still playing trucker convoy music and decorating the freedom tree that I didn't realize the season changed already. I can't wait for pedo hunting season to come around again though. I hear they're going to up the bag limit this year and no stamps required either.

[–] • 1 pt

almost forgot i need to sharpen the wood chipper blades, change the spark plugs, and oil.

[–] • 6 pts

This is why I come here. Crazy threads that almost nobody anywhere else would understand keep me chuckling.

[–] • 5 pts

I was almost ready to get my COVISS costumes back out.

[–] • 2 pts

It is May, after all.

[–] • 2 pts

It's almost the 2 year anniversary of ugly boy floyd dying - From stealing bananas and a drug overdose.

[–] • 2 pts

We'll always have his bronze statue to remember him by, though, won't we?

[–] • 1 pt

How come that statue hasn't been torn down? Or has it? I thought that statues of evil or violent criminals were.

[–] • 2 pts

And having counterfeit money from a nightclub where he and his "killer" worked together. Thankfully his previously unknown twin survived.

[–] • 0 pt (edited )

Imagine going on an overdosing while high on illegal drugs crime spree using counterfeit money, getting caught, resisting arrest and crying for momma. Then you die because you're an idiot and your family makes 15 million dollars to buy a mansion they can't afford, cars they can't fuel up because Sloppy Joe gave the country's money all away to illegals for smartphones and free transport and housing. Now the economy is crashed, the Fentanyl Floyd family is broke and back on welfare.

Bring back better Brandon!

Where is your pet rat Kamaltoe the hotdog swallowing, dindu hindu diversity hire?

Giggling and nibbling on a cheese wheel? Or is that your smelly, smegma tip? She is a whore who sucks and fucks for the bucks afterall.

[–] • 2 pts

It's about time for a new saint to be canonized into the faith of dyn'do-nuffin'

Patron saint of picking fights and fighting dirty: trayvon martin

Patron saint of compulsive bullying and hubris: mike brown

Patron saint of diabetes and hawking cigarettes: eric garner

Patron saint of pedal pilfering and paddy wagons: freddie gray

Patron saint of false witnesses and synthetic opioids: george floyd

I suspect our next saint to be canonized will quite soon be doing nuffin at all.

[–] • 1 pt

Patron saint of lying and deceiving the USA in the name of nigger satan: hussein soetoro

[–] • 1 pt

They'll canonize the pope of niggery when he dies.

[–] • 1 pt

Roe is the NEW THING, dontcha know?

[–] • 1 pt

This headline is worthy of a Babylon Bee headline! Well done my friend...fucking brilliant!!!

[–] • 0 pt

No way! I still have my George Floydtm (i.kym-cdn.com) plushies laying around, now what am I supposed to do with all of them?