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Bleak

Not sure what’s going on, not gonna lie.

I’ve chosen to be on the right path, do the right thing. I’m married, managed to awaken my wife to reality and away from all the subversion and globohomo (and I know this is a rarity to be able to achieve that), I have a job, got a truck. Paying my bills. Got a great dog. Working on getting a piece of land in the middle of nowhere to build a home there. Got an RV that we’re in the process of rebuilding to use as a temporary home while we build the house.

I went through a large re-formatting myself years ago, before doing the same for my wife, I had my awakening and I pulled her with me. Luckily she came along.

Why doesn’t this make me feel better though? The sense of emptiness and dread is slowly growing and a lot of this just seems kinda futile. Does not feel like anything is going to last. It’s like I’m working my ass off for nothing. What’s the point if the world is collapsing anyway?

I don’t really understand. When I was young I was happy, excited for the world, excited to be alive. Now I often find myself wishing that I wasn’t alive. Idk.

Not sure what’s going on, not gonna lie. I’ve chosen to be on the right path, do the right thing. I’m married, managed to awaken my wife to reality and away from all the subversion and globohomo (and I know this is a rarity to be able to achieve that), I have a job, got a truck. Paying my bills. Got a great dog. Working on getting a piece of land in the middle of nowhere to build a home there. Got an RV that we’re in the process of rebuilding to use as a temporary home while we build the house. I went through a large re-formatting myself years ago, before doing the same for my wife, I had my awakening and I pulled her with me. Luckily she came along. Why doesn’t this make me feel better though? The sense of emptiness and dread is slowly growing and a lot of this just seems kinda futile. Does not feel like anything is going to last. It’s like I’m working my ass off for nothing. What’s the point if the world is collapsing anyway? I don’t really understand. When I was young I was happy, excited for the world, excited to be alive. Now I often find myself wishing that I wasn’t alive. Idk.

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[–] • 4 pts

"When ignorance is bliss, tis folly to be wise," wrote Thomas Gray in his poem “Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College” (1742). Gray was a fool. It is never bliss to be ignorant. Knowledge is the gift of God to us, that elevates us above the animals. Sometimes it's hard to know what's going on, when you can't do anything about it, but it is always better to know than not to know.

Buck up. Find your balls. Make your own life, which you do have control over. Let the world go its way, since you can't stop it. You are miles ahead of the clowns around you who don't even know what is going on.