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I made a comment. - https://poal.co/s/AskPoal/496571/d51558eb-d8f8-4baa-87ba-945d2df7192c#cmnts

Some faggots got shirty and many who never used one, made comments that show their ignorance.

Some did ask legit questions, so I figured I would wrap it all up here.

a background, - I had the same thoughts you all did "eeew - wet arsehole. eeewww" until I tried it. then I tell you, Angels Wept. it was glorious.

so to the questions....

  1. 3 seashells?

    • well duh of course, but what if I don't have the shells? I always use the shells and use the bidet in the event the shells are not available.

  2. Seriously how does that work? I cant see it being effected all the time but how do you dry off? Toilet paper just denigrates when wet.

    • You shit. you turn on the bidet, it sprays a nice solid stream that washes you clean. you wait a few seconds for the water to drip off and get up and walk away. NO NEED TO DRY OFF, if your underpants cannot handle a little bit of clean water, it is handling a lot more dingleberries.

    • Wipe or don't wipe, I find it fine either way.

  3. So..... Basically its a toilet hose? And there's a reasonable expectation of water, possibly containing shit, leaving the bowl, or blowing up my back?

    • https://bossbidet.com/ - check that out. Yes possible to lose water - but holy shit, if you ain't sitting there, why are you turning on the bidet? you stop the water escaping because you are in the way. what are you some sort of faggot?

  4. so you walk around with a wet ass after?

    • Only if I am in a hurry.

  5. I've got the ASS-BLASTER 5000... Don't need no stinkin paper!

    • RIGHT!

  6. Imagine when the power goes out, youre helpless. Fucking caveman.

    • no. you are helpless. you know the great TP shortage of '21? I was not helpless. my butt was dingleberry free.
    • as long as you have water in a header tank - the bidet will work, and if you don't have running, not like you are flushing either (a bucket will work to flush) but if you are out of power that long, it means you have bigger issues and how you wipe your arse will be low on your priorities at that point.
    • Pumping water from underground can be done with a windmill pump. - beyond the scope of this.

  7. 50 degree tap water on your bunghole will pucker you up in the morning.

    • Yes. Yes it will.

  8. So a windmill it generates what? A water tank ontop of your house trinkeling water down on you? Cold water splashed on your ass to wash the shit away, refreshing. Or one of these: https://youtu.be/G8PCeDCgLJI

    • if you have fresh water flowing nearby, a ram pump will work for getting water to a header tank which will give you pressurized water to spray your bunghole with. or you could do like and go wash in the river. do it downstream if you are drinking the water.

  9. Ok so, second reply to ask a question. I live in a pretty windy place. We have a own water source but its at around 100 meters underground (run by a pump driven by electricity) . Any stuff you know of that i can research if we have to go off grid?

    • Batteries, Solar, Wind (wind turbines are pretty useless in our experience) - we have a place that is completely off grid with 100KW of solar and 100KW batteries. Wind works to drive a mechanical pump. it will take water from low and put it higher, allowing you to blast your ass with refreshing bidet water for pennies.

Tune in for more bidet tips now!

I made a comment. - https://poal.co/s/AskPoal/496571/d51558eb-d8f8-4baa-87ba-945d2df7192c#cmnts Some faggots got shirty and many who never used one, made comments that show their ignorance. Some did ask legit questions, so I figured I would wrap it all up here. a background, - I had the same thoughts you all did "eeew - wet arsehole. eeewww" until I tried it. then I tell you, Angels Wept. it was glorious. so to the questions.... 1. 3 seashells? - well duh of course, but what if I don't have the shells? I always use the shells and use the bidet in the event the shells are not available. 2. Seriously how does that work? I cant see it being effected all the time but how do you dry off? Toilet paper just denigrates when wet. - You shit. you turn on the bidet, it sprays a nice solid stream that washes you clean. you wait a few seconds for the water to drip off and get up and walk away. NO NEED TO DRY OFF, if your underpants cannot handle a little bit of clean water, it is handling a lot more dingleberries. - Wipe or don't wipe, I find it fine either way. 3. So..... Basically its a toilet hose? And there's a reasonable expectation of water, possibly containing shit, leaving the bowl, or blowing up my back? - https://bossbidet.com/ - check that out. Yes possible to lose water - but holy shit, if you ain't sitting there, why are you turning on the bidet? you stop the water escaping because you are in the way. what are you some sort of faggot? 4. so you walk around with a wet ass after? - Only if I am in a hurry. 5. I've got the ASS-BLASTER 5000... Don't need no stinkin paper! - RIGHT! 6. Imagine when the power goes out, youre helpless. Fucking caveman. - no. you are helpless. you know the great TP shortage of '21? I was not helpless. my butt was dingleberry free. - as long as you have water in a header tank - the bidet will work, and if you don't have running, not like you are flushing either (a bucket will work to flush) but if you are out of power that long, it means you have bigger issues and how you wipe your arse will be low on your priorities at that point. - Pumping water from underground can be done with a windmill pump. - beyond the scope of this. 7. 50 degree tap water on your bunghole will pucker you up in the morning. - Yes. Yes it will. 8. So a windmill it generates what? A water tank ontop of your house trinkeling water down on you? Cold water splashed on your ass to wash the shit away, refreshing. Or one of these: https://youtu.be/G8PCeDCgLJI - if you have fresh water flowing nearby, a ram pump will work for getting water to a header tank which will give you pressurized water to spray your bunghole with. or you could do like @AOU and go wash in the river. do it downstream if you are drinking the water. 9. Ok so, second reply to ask a question. I live in a pretty windy place. We have a own water source but its at around 100 meters underground (run by a pump driven by electricity) . Any stuff you know of that i can research if we have to go off grid? - Batteries, Solar, Wind (wind turbines are pretty useless in our experience) - we have a place that is completely off grid with 100KW of solar and 100KW batteries. Wind works to drive a mechanical pump. it will take water from low and put it higher, allowing you to blast your ass with refreshing bidet water for pennies. Tune in for more bidet tips now!

(post is archived)

[–] • 9 pts

I dont even wipe my ass. Dont even use a toilet. Just like my ancient ancestors, shit on the street. I love it here in California.

[–] • 2 pts

Holy shit that made me laugh... great comment

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

Like the tech support scammers in India. They shit in the street and into the rivers so much that people don't have clean drinking water there. People die of cholera and diarrhea all the time. Tourists get it from the "great" street food there.

[–] • 3 pts

The bidet I own attaches to the same faucet that fills the back of the toilet. There is no electric pump involved. I live in a cold climate and don't notice a chill unless it's been close to 0 for a dew days.

My usual procedure: Spray off

Dab a little soap on TP, soap up

Spray off

About half the amount of TP for a usual wipe is used to dry off.

[–] • 1 pt

If someone really wants they can dry off with a paper towel and throw that in the garbage bin.

[–] • 1 pt

Cold water is always the first thing non-believers trot out when you extol the wonders of a bidet to them. But you're right, a spay of cold water even in the dead of a Canadian winter is not a big deal. You're aware that's it's cold but that's it. You don't feel the chill to your core or even find it unpleasant. It's just a bit of cold water on your skin.

There are the more expensive, feature rich bidets that in addition to cleaning also have an Enema option which involves squirting a stream of water right up the bung hole. Talk about feeling clean. If you thought bidets are The Shit then one that does 'enemas' is The Shit Squared. But, and it's a big but, the water needs to be heated which these bidets do. Squirting cold water, even in the middle of summer, right up into the chute is not a pleasant experience. Trust me on this.

[–] • 0 pt

I never heard of the enema thing, an attachment actually enters your rectum? That sounds unsanitary.

I have a more expensive bidet in the main restroom. It has a light, heated seat, a remote that lets you control the water temperature, position of the spray, it even twirls the water!

[–] • 1 pt

It's just a jet of water, not an attachment. You control the force and angle but you still need to position your ass just right and then, of course, relax your sphincter. It's not a true enema but still does a good job of flushing out the pipe. I'm constantly surprised at how much cough material is still in there even after a satisfying dump.

The heated seat doesn't do anything for me but the wife likes it. Not to mention it also has a douche setting for the ladies.

Best $400 I ever spent and I am not exaggerating.

What does "twirls the water" do? How can you even tell?

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

Some faggots got shirty

Shirty or sharty?

[–] • 2 pts

The very definition of a shitpost

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

I’m just glad you clarified your stance on the 3 shells. For a moment there, I thought you were some kind of animal.

[–] • 2 pts

Yes. I can see how you would think that

[–] • 1 pt

Fuck.

[–] • 3 pts

a bit worried there Crusty? might need to change your name to cleanbeaver

[–] • 0 pt

12 months ago I just rebuilt my only bathroom into a perfectly good modern bathroom with a real shower and a new toilet, which was a hellacious process, and during which the fucking ceiling caved in, so now it also has a new ceiling, and half of the plumbing is now also new, and now it is all in there and finally I can sit down and enjoy a decent shit in my own brand new bathroom and now I have to install a bidet?

There is no fucking room for a bidet - not without tearing down half the fucking house.

FUCK>

[–] • 2 pts

the fit under the toilet seat. easy AF to install

[–] • 1 pt

Put it in the living room, lots of space, plus you get to watch telly whilst you poo

[–] • 1 pt

I have one installed but never use it. But it's good to have for another shortage. Not like it's expensive.

[–] • 1 pt

I do appreciate a clean anus

[–] • 1 pt

3 seashells?

I always assumed those were the buttons for a bidet

thanks for the post was meaning to look up how to use one last night but got distracted

[–] • 1 pt

Quality post. One note of warning the bidet I received had metal fittings and stripped on my toilet water filler so I had to buy a new toilet filler and start the process over

[–] • 1 pt

Me too. Kohler brand toilet and added a kohler brand bidet. Piece of shit stripped out when tightening

[–] • 0 pt

In my case I had to drive 20 miles to get a new one it upset me. I do love the bidet but wish I bought a more expensive one that had a better aim control mine just moves up and down a little ways

[–] • 0 pt

The bidets I've used in European hotels were a separate porcelain fixture next to the toilet and had cold and hot taps to adjust the water to a comfortable temp. You washed your nasty ass with warm soapy water, then rinsed with clean water, and dried with a towel.

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