My condolences @yy99
The best thing I can tell anyone is do not take your own life. You'll want to see what comes next, no matter how bad things are. As we all have, there is a curiosity of what comes next in life. Don't care about what others think of you. Care for yourself and by caring for yourself, you will know that you need to be kind to and love yourself and not care what other people think of you
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