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I feel like everyone around me only sees me as the person whose wife died and that's it. Every time i bring it up, it almost always devolves into some form of pity or something. On one hand i could stop mentioning it completely, pretend i was never married, and keep people happy. And yet, the more i am still alive, the more i dont care what people think. I just want people to stop associating me, the person, with me, the relationship that once was. And yet, I feel trapped in the vicious circle of assholes posturing and virtue signalling against my pain

I feel like everyone around me only sees me as the person whose wife died and that's it. Every time i bring it up, it almost always devolves into some form of pity or something. On one hand i could stop mentioning it completely, pretend i was never married, and keep people happy. And yet, the more i am still alive, the more i dont care what people think. I just want people to stop associating me, the person, with me, the relationship that once was. And yet, I feel trapped in the vicious circle of assholes posturing and virtue signalling against my pain

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[–] • 3 pts (edited )

Been guilty of something similar to this, mostly because I don't know how to react to news of a passed loved one without being cold/insensitive...lately it goes something like "Sorry to hear about _______.", and try to move on to other conversation topics.

What on earth am I supposed to say when something like that gets brought up? Because I legitimately feel empathetic towards those who suffer loss, but it feels fake to dwell on it.