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I don't know, but these people piss me off so much. First of all the counseling session is once a week and it is all women. Now i don't mind this, if the class could actually be productive in any way. But it's not, it's just an hour and a half of women bitching about this and that, or who knows what else. Grief is traumatic, and can leave behind some interesting issues to deal with, but jesus, these people have apparently done the class multiple times, and to me, it just seems weird. Grief counseling is not a social club in my life, its about learning techniques and NOT being co dependent on others. Except, this entire point is completely missed.

Instead it's a circular circle jerk of anger towards non widowers, and a complete break down in communication. Like yes, if people ask you how you are, and you internalize rage and anger over them not knowing, dont expect them to know what to do for next time. This behavior can be annoying, but i quickly learned myself that my problems, especially this personal are NOT a problem to others.

The second issue is most of my life experiences are not translatable to this class. Yes i tried the suppression route and failed, but i also learned that some form of suppression, as a guy at least is required and even beneficial. I would become useless and ridiculed if i broke down every other day over my wife dying. It sucks, but that is the way it is. I dont want to beat myself up over it, and there isn't much i can do about it at this point, except accept what happened, and not let my emotions get the best of me. I learned this by myself though.

I don't know, but these people piss me off so much. First of all the counseling session is once a week and it is all women. Now i don't mind this, if the class could actually be productive in any way. But it's not, it's just an hour and a half of women bitching about this and that, or who knows what else. Grief is traumatic, and can leave behind some interesting issues to deal with, but jesus, these people have apparently done the class multiple times, and to me, it just seems weird. Grief counseling is not a social club in my life, its about learning techniques and NOT being co dependent on others. Except, this entire point is completely missed. Instead it's a circular circle jerk of anger towards non widowers, and a complete break down in communication. Like yes, if people ask you how you are, and you internalize rage and anger over them not knowing, dont expect them to know what to do for next time. This behavior can be annoying, but i quickly learned myself that my problems, especially this personal are NOT a problem to others. The second issue is most of my life experiences are not translatable to this class. Yes i tried the suppression route and failed, but i also learned that some form of suppression, as a guy at least is required and even beneficial. I would become useless and ridiculed if i broke down every other day over my wife dying. It sucks, but that is the way it is. I dont want to beat myself up over it, and there isn't much i can do about it at this point, except accept what happened, and not let my emotions get the best of me. I learned this by myself though.

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[–] 0 pt

Sorry to hear that you experienced the loss of your wife. Have you ever heard of EMDR therapy? It has an extremely high success rate. You go at your own pace and divulge what you feel like sharing. I highly recommend it. Agree with grief not always being a group thing.. I wish you well.

[–] 1 pt

It can be a group thing if its constructive. I do not consider a massive bitch fest by women to be constructive. Haven't generally done EMDR but i can look it up

[–] 0 pt

You are correct. Letting people that grieve take the reigns rather than guiding their pain for a more productive route is what should be going on. Or even at least breaking up the session into different segments. Like 20 minutes of venting and another 35 minutes for focus group or what have you. Maybe you can bring this up to the person holding the meeting.

[–] 0 pt

Sorry for the loss of your wife. I know that doesn't help, but I feel for you man.