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Within the confines of family relationships, it seems no one cares, not even her own mom. I always thought people cared, and yet here I am noticing that her mom(my mother in law) clearly doesnt care, treats her like some kind of pawn to further her agenda. She's spent the last few years incessantly trying to have me pawn my own cash and resources back to her, because my mother in law would rather see me broke and dependent on herself, than to admit her daughter is dead. The majority of the time when i try to maintain a relationship with her, she simply insults me, revises the past, pretends clear fights and issues never happened, literally re writes parts of history to make herself feel better, creates co dependent toxic relationships, or simply lies to get her way.

My mom treats my wife as if she's some kind of disposed tampon, constantly insulting her, making dumb jokes. I understand you have stuff on your mind, but i would hardly go up to someone who'se dad just died, and proclaim the guy was always an asshole or something to that effect. And yet these same assfucks want me to just take it and never complain, just let my wife get insulted endlessly because reasons? And the infighting is just getting so much. My mom and mother in law are fighting with each other through me, using me as some proxy to get their ways. And i thought to myself, maybe reaching back out to these people would be a good thing, and yet my brain tricked me with the nostalgia of better times.

Within the confines of family relationships, it seems no one cares, not even her own mom. I always thought people cared, and yet here I am noticing that her mom(my mother in law) clearly doesnt care, treats her like some kind of pawn to further her agenda. She's spent the last few years incessantly trying to have me pawn my own cash and resources back to her, because my mother in law would rather see me broke and dependent on herself, than to admit her daughter is dead. The majority of the time when i try to maintain a relationship with her, she simply insults me, revises the past, pretends clear fights and issues never happened, literally re writes parts of history to make herself feel better, creates co dependent toxic relationships, or simply lies to get her way. My mom treats my wife as if she's some kind of disposed tampon, constantly insulting her, making dumb jokes. I understand you have stuff on your mind, but i would hardly go up to someone who'se dad just died, and proclaim the guy was always an asshole or something to that effect. And yet these same assfucks want me to just take it and never complain, just let my wife get insulted endlessly because reasons? And the infighting is just getting so much. My mom and mother in law are fighting with each other through me, using me as some proxy to get their ways. And i thought to myself, maybe reaching back out to these people would be a good thing, and yet my brain tricked me with the nostalgia of better times.

(post is archived)

[–] • 6 pts

Don’t pay much mind to the opinions of fools

[–] [deleted] • 5 pts

Have you tried fucking your mother in-law?

[+] [deleted] • 0 pt
[–] • 3 pts

Your mother in law is a pathological narcissist.

[–] • 1 pt

She does exhibit a lot of the symptoms. My wife for example tried laying out boundaries with her mom, and they would routinely get squashed, ignored or my wife would be gaslit or strong armed into complying. A 2 hour dinner would always linger into 5 hours, because her mom would constantly guilt trip my wife into staying around by playing the frail old lady routine. My wife knew this was so manipulative, but she felt bad because family, and parents and stuff, but imagine literally doing nothing for 3 hours cause mommy hates being alone

[–] • 1 pt

Cut them off. Your life will improve. Limit to very small doses, if you must see them, at all.

[–] • 2 pts

Seems like your mom may be jewish. You may want to check your family history.

Shalom.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

Your feeling are correct. They don't care or understand. You know what to do,

[–] • 1 pt

If she's fat and/or ugly use this as an excuse to dump her. Otherwise, move away from your loser families.

[–] • 2 pts

Wife is dead, im a widower. This is the aftermath of her death issues

[–] • 4 pts

Move away. Fuck those assholes.

[–] • 3 pts

People always say family comes first, and part of me felt bad abandoning them the first time around. But now, im simply witnessing the same destructive patterns that reminded me why i left in the first place. Everyone only cares that i abandoned them, no one looked inside to understand why though

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

Some things can't be fixed. Consider if you wouldn't be better off without the ex-MIL, even if there's grandchildren involved. It's not fair to have them involved in this sort of drama, imo.

You care about your wife. Honor her memory, and try to do what she'd want you to do. Good luck.

[–] • 1 pt

No grandchildren. As for my wife, she told me that if she ever died or if we got seperated i should go out and bang as many women as i can, and try to be happy. That is not forget her, but not be constricted by thoughts of inaction.

[–] • 0 pt

Sounds like some trailer park bullshit.

Sorry for your loss.

Nobody will feel like you about it.

Your mom probably doesn't understand how to treat the situation and is treating it more like a break up then what it is to you. She probably just wants you happy and thinks you moving on would make you happier. Like the shit she's doing is totally uncalled for.

The in law was probably counting on her daughter to support her as she aged. If she was a single child this is more likely. If she has siblings they are probably barely functioning and could not possibly support mom. Mom is probably divorced or doesn't know who the father is.

Mom and mother in law fighting is just old birds being old birds.

But yeah nobody is going to feel exactly like you about her death. Can't expect them to.

[–] • 1 pt

The sibling in this case is a complete fuck up, is in his mid 20s, incapable of maintaining a job in any form, and plays video games all day. The problem that makes this so sad, is my wife had told me she wanted me to abandon her mom and her brother if we ever separated or if she died. Part of me always wondered if she knew she was going to die, based off the foreshadowing she laid out.

I eventually did abandon them, and then felt bad because i thought i was being too harsh. That was a huge mistake on my part

[–] • 0 pt

Nostalgia is a disease and humans are weak selfish and stupid.

Delete them from your life nephew. Hold her in your mind as you see fit and she will remain there as you knew her and vicariously through your future experiences.

[–] • 0 pt

I care about her more than you will ever know, or want to know