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Im a widower, lost my wife a few years ago. I thought i was doing well, and then it hit me, i want to live in the past. Ive been recollecting old pictures, and becoming less social than i used to be. I feel like i just want to eternally be miserable and live in the past. And yet i know, what im doing is very destructive. Looking at pictures, and trying to hold on to memories will just make me more miserable, and yet i cant help but do it anyways. I talk as if shes still alive, but i just dont see why i should stop.

Im a widower, lost my wife a few years ago. I thought i was doing well, and then it hit me, i want to live in the past. Ive been recollecting old pictures, and becoming less social than i used to be. I feel like i just want to eternally be miserable and live in the past. And yet i know, what im doing is very destructive. Looking at pictures, and trying to hold on to memories will just make me more miserable, and yet i cant help but do it anyways. I talk as if shes still alive, but i just dont see why i should stop.

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Sorry, im adding a bit of formatting, since its hard to read a wall.

Motivate-if you're constantly looking for excuses you won't find any solutions. There is no past. Each of us upholds a different perception of loss (past) as a belief; sold to us by those who seek control over us.

The only truth are the laws that define constant forward motion, which is what energy is; which defines all existence.

The control over us within energy, comes from us being deceived to not comprehend motion anymore, because to gain control within shared energy, those who seek control need all others to not use it (use less; not act towards potential), hence the utilization of the contract of belief to get us to not comprehend motion anymore (balance aka survial within motion demands constant adaptation), which they did by deceiving us to mentally stagnate our own comprehension with beliefs; not specific beliefs, but the act of upholding any beliefs.

Ownership claims create a hierarchy based on control (ownership; leadership, laws, law enforcement, religion, and back to more selfish ownership claims). It is the allegory of the Ouroboros (self devouring); it's selfishness breeding selfishness; it's the corruption of a temptation set into motion tempting those who want to always want more. Out of this came greed and envy...a field full of apples has no greed or envy in it. It is when one selfishly proclaims value, by free will of choice, onto one single apple; that he creates greed within self, and envy within others. "All actions have consequences within motion"...that's the 2nd natural law.

So ignorance over self (through selfishness) leads to control over others, which exponentially grows into corruptions within motion. That represents the strife within blood, based on ignoring adherence to self sustenance, and that division prevents unity between those who adhere and those who ignore. Adherence leads to unity based on shared responsibility to maintain creation (femininity and masculinity in balance lead to procreation), which is what creates roots, which are spreading out to those who also adhere to self sustenance. And meanwhile those who ignore reality, will start to opposite, because the fiction they believe will be contradicted by reality, and so they start subverting themselves and those around them by adhering to fiction.