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I go to church, and i go to weekly bible/church meetups. I love Christianity, it seems to give me a new purpose and understanding of life. I love the church friends i have, and how everything seems to make sense. Then i leave, and you get exhibit A/B from my post history, which is some kind of deep self hatred of myself. I cant explain it, i dont personally believe it, and yet my brain feels like jumping off the deep end in terms of mental retardation. And it doesnt last forever, it only lasts for a few hours, at which time reading a couple bible chapters really helps me. So then, why the hell does my brain flip flop between being super happy and then super depressed all the time? I dont understand it

I go to church, and i go to weekly bible/church meetups. I love Christianity, it seems to give me a new purpose and understanding of life. I love the church friends i have, and how everything seems to make sense. Then i leave, and you get exhibit A/B from my post history, which is some kind of deep self hatred of myself. I cant explain it, i dont personally believe it, and yet my brain feels like jumping off the deep end in terms of mental retardation. And it doesnt last forever, it only lasts for a few hours, at which time reading a couple bible chapters really helps me. So then, why the hell does my brain flip flop between being super happy and then super depressed all the time? I dont understand it

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[–] • 1 pt

It’s a neurological protective response. When you get too many “feel good” chemicals, your brain will try to compensate by making you feel bad, to balance out the neurochemistry.

Same reason people want to pinch (be violent) towards cute kids, or say things like “I could eat you up”.

It’s a weird phenomenon, you can look it up.

Anyways. Your strategy should work. Just try to refocus on good things, list things your grateful for if those feelings pop up.

The more you get used to the good feels, you’ll have less of a severe balancing response.