No you're not understanding me. I think about existential stuff every single day often. I often think about all of the possibilities. I'm not exaggerating at all when I save I think about the mystery of life throughout the day constantly. It just doesn't make me uncomfortable nor does the thought of death. I realize there is no way for me to know what it is all about or how it came about and I am fine with that mystery. I still enjoy thinking about it though. The only real strong feelings I have on all of it is that nothing is probably what we think it is.