How have you been doing since you got out? Obviously I'm quite a bit older than you but I know it took me many years to readjust.
Eh, I've been alright. I wasn't a tough guy like you, I was just some pog IT, and I did a shitty job at that. Didn't have the best life before the military, joined in the stupid childish hope it would solve all my problems, it didn't, I got out as soon as I could in a foolish search of the thing that would.
Then I realized too late that it wasn't my parents (well, it was them, but it wasn't after a certain point...age of 15 or so), or the schools, or the military, it was me, as well as the combination of behaviors and thoughts I had been trained to display or think throughout the years.
So for the past ~2 years I've been doing that. Mostly just sitting around being a depressed faggot, trying to deal with the gay emotional shit with the help of a therapist, which worked a little I guess, and "going to school" (actually just sitting around smoking weed, because the schools are all online because of COVID, and I've been capable enough to not really try and still pass through school with a current 3.5 GPA, because it's all bullshit). Mostly I've just been trying to survive until the pandemic bullshit passes, I'm still optimistic enough to think that it's just an election-season scam, rather than some Great Reset. But, I guess I'll have to adjust my plans if the pandemic lasts past february/march or so.
tl;dr: I was a shit sailor and I've been doing shit since I got out, but I've been slowly trying to learn from the various mistakes I've made over the past 26 years of my life, so that I can understand myself better, so that I can make my final career choice (26 is getting too old to continue fucking around) and then go all-in on that.
Going almost straight from the military to COVID lockdowns sucked balls. I moved into an apartment near the community college I'm attending, hoping I could at least find a buddy or two from the VA office to dick around with at the very least, maybe find a dork girl who wanted to "study" with me there if I was lucky.............but partially because of COVID closing the school down, I've just been sitting around getting fat since last march.
To me it sounds like you're doing good because you've recognized the problem, come to terms with it and are not working on correcting it.
When I was going through my hard times I always felt like I was making absolutely no progress. I felt like I was in a stalemate and nothing was changing. Looking back I realize that I actually was making progress the whole time simply by not giving up.
Another thing that has helped me greatly over the years is really paying attention to the things I'm thankful for throughout the day. When I'm enjoying a nice cup of hot coffee I will acknowledge it in my mind and give thanks to the universe ( not exactly but you get the point). I think a person really needs to put a good chunk of their time towards thinking about the good things in the life and the things you are thankful for, all the little things.
There was a book I read years ago that gave me some really interesting insights and helped me quite a bit. It was called The Art of happiness and it's about a western psychologists long interviews with the Dalai Lama. They talk about life. Not really my thing but I actually got a lot out of it. you can probably find it an audiobook format and just listen to it while you go for a walk.
Don't give up man. Why don't you make a simple New Year's resolution right now to go for a 15 minute walk every single day no matter what. Little things like that make a big difference.
Take care
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