...nothing that had to do with these dreams...
My point, yes. It's easier to look backwards, you'll have better vision. It's stress. Stress can manifest itself in many ways. Stress can drag a man down by his soul. Find the root cause(s) of the stress and eliminate it. If not completely, then go one stressor at time until its gone. Or until your more comfortable managing the stress.
Sometimes I think my brain is totally unfit for this world.
It is unfit for the world that has been created (intentionally) to trap us, make us anxious and unwell. It’s absolutely perfect for the world we’re meant to live in, the natural world. You’re living in the matrix, an artificial world meant to stifle minds like yours, that’s why it’s so hard for you, you’re frustrated, and rightly so. You know this is wrong, it isn’t how the world is supposed to be.
You might find it odd to hear, but I think you're more fit for this world than most people.
I challenge you to make an honest list of your own direct stressors. (No need to post the list, I did say honest, didn't I?)
One big sheet, or several, up to you. Now the fun part... Now. Divide the list into two categories. This is where half of the honesty comes in. One list will be the stressors that are beyond your control. No matter how much we lie to ourselves, there are only so many things we have direct control over. Put this list aside, for now.
Second list, the other half of the honesty. This is the list of things that you have a chance of changing. Rearrange the list to reflect what can be changed quickly. Can be anything, but something will be at the top of the list. See that thing? It's time for you to change it. Do so. Continue working through the list.
Why? I have had a saying, I'll share it with you and anyone else who can read:
If I'm not happy, things are going to fucking change until I am.
As long as you can live with the consequences of your next few decisions, make those changes. Happiness is yours to chase, my friend. May you have the best of luck!
(No proofread)