Alright then I'll tell you a story if you're interested (this story takes place in Europe, England):

When I was a student I smoked a lot of weed, both on my own and in the company of others. For some reason or another I started to become sensitive to whatever you would like to call "the other side", this fact was personal, held close to my chest and never really part of my extrovert personality, but it still made me "different". I was not like the others, so to speak. This change happened relatively quickly and for reasons I'm still incapable of understanding. I would experience oddities that I couldn't explain or reasonably talk about. Things such as premonitions, wherein a number of times I would think of someone directly before seeing them irl, I would imagine random unforeseen events and then find myself moments later experiencing said event, I would experienced extreme visual and mental phenomena in the moments leading up to sleep (that sort of lucid slumber state of being on the verge of sleep but not quite under), I would "know" through a very distinctive and unique feeling when my ex-girlfriend was being flirted with (at the time research on this feeling pointed to what's known as quantum entanglement... it was fucking rough), and I had a sense for people and their "aura" or whatever you want to call it.

All very strange and spooky for someone just coming out their teens, and honestly it scared the hell out of me. It made me very paranoid and, although a lot of these feelings and experiences were hidden from others, I was still desperate for answers. Not being religious I couldn't put this down to any kind of God or another plane of existence, I couldn't go to church or anything to talk about it, shit I didn't even think about any of this stuff before it started happening so how could I explain it?

Well, one night LSD crossed my path, and without hesitation I took a tab, and boy did it blow my fucking mind. It started off tame, I was in the company of others and their faces changed shapes, my memory was skewed and visuals were amusing, all the classic stuff. But as the high peaked, the night fell and people went to bed, well the questions I asked so frequently started to come to the front of my trip. Primarily, WHY is this happening to me. The trip took me, thereafter, on a sort of countdown to grand event, this event being my death (by bullet to the head to be precise). But the trip gave me the knowledge of this event, and then gave me the option of "figuring out" WHY I was going to die. For an unknown amount of time I was in this sort of loop, where I would almost be shot, then it would fling back to me figuring out some weird shit until I almost got shot again, but with each loop I was getting closer and closer to the point of impact. The moment I was forewarned about. Then it collapsed like a singularity, where the loop stopped looping and became one, and I found myself in the position of holding a gun to my head, and having the choice: pull the trigger and see the rest, or abandon this path and go another way. For some ungoldy and inexplicable reason, I debated this decision, tackling myself to fight to fear of death, and eventually, I put the gun to my head and pulled the trigger. My head fucking exploded. Everything and everyone I cared about mourned me, parts of my brain were all over the place and I was frustrated and confused that I had the task of picking up my brain parts and still being conscious of it. The trip had now taken a whole new fucking turn. I had now died, and to this day I see this moment as the infamous "ego-death" people hark on about when discussing psychedelic trips. It is the choice of death over life because you overcome the fear of it.

After this event, my "ego death", there are things that happened to me, with thoughts that entered my mind, both during the same trip and afterwards, that changed my life forever. If you want to know more, or made it this far, let me know and I'll continue.

i had something and you gotta try it to find it