uhhhhhhhhhh fuck hey look over there a squirrel!
It's just like, you ain't even one of those cool vampires that live on a massive private mansion in Eastern Europe because you have acquired lifetimes worth of wealth from being immortal.
You that gay type of vampire that put all your money into buggy-whips right before Henry Ford made the modern assembly line, and gotta restart every 80 years, and now you live in Ohio
i'm actually a very stupid werewolf. I could have been the leader of a pack that stretched for hundreds of miles, but noooooo those damn tulips.
I was going to respond with a joke referencing the Twilight series of books and films (team Jabob vs team Edward) but I thought that maybe you would be too old to get it.
Then I looked up the actual dates of Twilight's publication and popularity, and I realized I am getting old, and maybe nobody would get the joke.
It spells /s/horkers