Here's my cover letter for Elon:
I would like to immediately volunteer my services as HR director for this new academy. Not only do I feel eminently qualified to serve in this capacity, it is also true that my own personal interests and those of the academy appear to parallel quite nicely.
I will not let you down.
Of course, this is very hard work, but someone will have to do it, and I can carry this burden farther than anyone thinks is humanly possible. Indeed, we may have to redefine the very definition of what is humanly possible. I fully intend to explore those boundaries far further than anyone has gone before.
For example, my quick duck search has yielded an immediate candidate list of potential spokespeople who appear to be appropriately equipped to serve in this capacity. In fact, I will interview each of them personally, and repeatedly, to find the finest select candidates that show great promise. They will all be well and thoroughly vetted, you can be sure of that.
Sort of reasonably safe for work:
This is just but a small sample of what I am capable of. Corporate sales are sure to soar. Did I mention I can also train the sales staff? Doors will quickly open and our people will be welcome throughout the corporate world.
You know, I will tell you this, when I woke up this morning my first thoughts were today might finally be the big day. The day I have a shot at securing the role of HR director. Rest assured, my dedication to this position knows no bounds. The opportunity simply fills me with enthusiasm.
Let's go!
I will work day and night to get this done.
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