In my teens, my time in front of the TV was largely spent plugged in to the 16-bit revolution. The Super Nintendo was my jam. I had a Genesis for a few games, but I was more dedicated to the Nintendo offerings than Sega. A game that I thoroughly enjoyed, having borrowed it from a buddy, was the RPG *EarthBound*, about a group of “American” teens/kids who save the planet from an alien invasion. It was fun, interesting and had a cool scifi plot that harkened back to my elementary school years running and biking around the neighborhood and local woods with a baseball bat, pretending I was fighting monsters. It’s a timeless sort of game, in many ways. I eventually got my hands on a copy of my own in a clearance bin for $5. It was a great find, and I still have the game on a shelf today, along with its packed in guidebook. The game was a flop and eventual cult classic in the US. I didn’t even know it was a flop until I reached adulthood, since I lived in a small town where few people at school shared my interests. The game’s notoriety really took off when its price did, sometime in the mid-2000s. A cartridge alone was well over $100 at that point, and a complete box could run you up to $1000 based on condition. Emulators were quickly spun up by those seeking to experience this rare and expensive vidya game, and soon there was a mania surrounding it and its prequel and sequel. The series was created by Shigesato Itoi, an eccentric novelist and copywriter who had a sort of Renaissance man fame in Japan for his quirky pursuits and attitude. He based it off of the distorted view adults have when recalling their childhood, full of nostalgia without the trappings of branded memories. All of the stories center around young people using unconventional means to take on cosmic evils, some elements being more tragic than others. If you take to YouTube, you’ll find plenty of breathless vloggers speaking in flowery prose about the game, some lamenting how they didn’t get to experience it in first run, others pretending that they did. Most, however, especially recently, are just huge fucking faggots, entitled and retarded. The “we own it now” attitude these supreme poofters and shit-plungers have about the game is bizarre and ridiculous. It’s shocking how many troons are involved in vanity projects like fan remakes and even a full fledged documentary on the subject. Did I dodge some sort of fateful bullet? Is this a generational thing? Well, sort of, and sort of not. A game like EarthBound relates to the autistic mind very well. It’s a childhood adventure from the safety of the air conditioned living room, without the bugs and bruises of playing outside in the woods. These autists and helicopter-kids connected with something most of them subliminally yearned for but never experienced. Itoi is a decent writer, and he conveys feelings of accomplishment that would later be cribbed by games like Pokémon, also hugely popular among the sheltered and autistic youths. Of course, as we all know, autistics have long been the biggest target of the LGBP movement, and many of these autistic kids were easily caught and seduced by the fags, particularly those having never learned to cope with being different, sheltered from reality by overprotective parents, coddled in their delusions, and eventually unable to deal in the real world, believing themselves to be perennial victims in a world where they lack the drive or capacity to function as responsible adults. That’s how a game that should have been a fun bit of youthful escapism and lighthearted nostalgia transformed into a mass hallucination false memory of childhood by people who never learned to grow up and now obsess over their toys and favorite fictions while playing pretend with their fake “relationships,” “marriages,” and “sex changes.”