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[–] 2 pts

I told my dog I would split my last bite with him if he stopped crappin in the house. For his obedience, he gets my carcass if I starve to death. So far he's keeping his end of the bargain.

[–] 1 pt

Have you sent a pet to the vet lately? Sure we can finance that for you. It's only 88 payments of $88.14