Lmao! Close enough. I know the pomo very well. I loved and worked on a res for years.
Being an injun was super uncool in my grandfather on that side's time. So he kept it all very secret, being the real halfbreed when it was not cool. He wanted to be a real whiteman like the resut of the family.
I have more respect for few men than him. He was by far the best mechanic I;ve ever known, and I am technically a mechanic myself. He was also a real manly mans man who taught me much about honor and honesty.
I always think of him to try to be the best man I can. No offense to my own father, who is also a great guy, but he really never understood manliness to a fractional point of any of my grandfathers, mom's or his dad even/ No offense, dad: I love you dearly, but you're still mom's slave cuck...
But I digress...
One grandfather was a great draftsman who helped with internal layouts of the Nike Ajax missile and the B1 bomber, but I hardly knew the guy. He was cool, thoug. Mom's dad, though, he was a real father figure. And I pity youth retards of these days who did not get to learn from a manly man like that. To repair airbrakes without exploding your hand. To replace a clutch in a '50s English car, to swap engines in a pretty ordinary Ford family car, making it a super sleeper hotrod... among so many other things.
I called him papa. It was never intended as an insult to my actual father, it's just what I called him. It's weird, and I do regret any emotional weirdness that may have caused... but holy fuck, I will honour Papa and never forget him. Ever.
I need to go find where they buried him. Since he died, I've never really gone back. But for some reason I feel like I should.
But I am drunk, And I digress.
Those are the stories and memories you should cherish and share. They are what makes us who we are, and they are what makes us strive to be great.
We dont have role models like that anymore. Kids today look up to trans makeup artists and shitty rappers.
Your grandfather had to be the manliest man because he was picked on and hated for being native. That adversity drove him to be better than everyone else to prove them wrong. That determination, that spite, that's what makes men men. Hard times make strong men.
It is a good idea to try and love and accept everyone and get along and help everybody and all the goodness gracious hippie Dippin crap. It really is. But it makes soft people. And those soft people create really bad times.
The bad times are coming. Thank your grandfather for teaching you how to survive em.
I almost feel like I need to let go of my hate for a time to write about him. Something tells me he'd find this hatred a contemptible weakness.
I guess it's just the permeating feeling of weekness in all things right now; the total humiliating defeat of goodness, of wholesomeness, of love itself.
I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling like this, but that knowledge brings little comfort, after all, we all die alone.
Well look at this drivel. I guess I can still write, at any rate. I guess that is something.
Man, I do. I do all the time.
I am just becoming aware of that fact. I want to be as much like him as I can be. But he didn't drink. And I drink. A lot. But how can I not in the face of total obliteration like this? I know. That is weak foolishness and I must strive to be better in all ways. I must remember how he lived and continue to try to emulate that.
I should write a post about him. An honest one, with personal feelings. But I HATE talking about personal feelings. Except for when I am here, drunk on the boat. So I guess perhaps I'll have to do it here. We'll see.
Great men deserve to have stories told about them. They deserve songs. I used to write songs. I should do that again, if I am still able.
Probably maybe related to them, too. Somehow.
Considering where I've been and what I've done, I owe them something.
I'd maybe buy them a beer.
WTF did they ever do for me, aside from being maybe kind of ancient relatives...
that alone is something. I'd defend them against the communists... unless they side with them. But why would they do that unless they're exceptionally stupid?
They are no more or less stupid than anyone else, bit they can't think to the future. They squander opportunities and think only for today. So they never get ahead in lofe.
As a coherent group, that is what they ALL do.
Hence why I NEVER side with them.
But I guess we're related.
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