Welcome • User Guide
ToS • Privacy • Canary
Donate • Bugs • License

©2024 Poal.co

110

I have a rare congenital terminal lung condition, not caused by smoking. i can't even go to bed anymore without going tachycardic, and even the most basic shit imaginable has become a chore in and of itself. according to my doctor, there is no cure, and at best, they can only guess what it is or is not going to do. since the fev1 number is well into very severe (25 - 30%) territory, my prognosis is close to shit at this point.

and yet, nothing makes me happy anymore. i'm just tumbling around waiting for my day to come, and i have no happiness anymore in anything i do. i don't want to subscribe to the lifestyle bullshit of today, i still have standards, so i feel like i'm completely lost. i've been doing some estate planning and getting to know god. and even then, i'm not even doing this for myself, so much as for others. just feels sad

I have a rare congenital terminal lung condition, not caused by smoking. i can't even go to bed anymore without going tachycardic, and even the most basic shit imaginable has become a chore in and of itself. according to my doctor, there is no cure, and at best, they can only guess what it is or is not going to do. since the fev1 number is well into very severe (25 - 30%) territory, my prognosis is close to shit at this point. and yet, nothing makes me happy anymore. i'm just tumbling around waiting for my day to come, and i have no happiness anymore in anything i do. i don't want to subscribe to the lifestyle bullshit of today, i still have standards, so i feel like i'm completely lost. i've been doing some estate planning and getting to know god. and even then, i'm not even doing this for myself, so much as for others. just feels sad

(post is archived)

You are currently inside a comment thread.
Click here to see all the comments (48).
[–] • 2 pts

RE "they can only guess what it is or is not going to do" = live like you're going to live. We're all dying. Some of us are dying more than others. If you make it past your estimated Overall Survival then enjoy the bonus years and celebrate them.

RE "go out with a blaze" = incompatible with getting to know God. The blaze is kind of a cliche F'd up fantasy of non-serious people that they project onto dying people. Just because you're dying doesn't mean you get a free pass to become a murderous bastard. Think about it, everyone dies. You're not any different than any other dying person, you and them and us, we all end this life in death. It takes some by surprise, and others know it's coming and get to plan for it. Go outside and feel the sun, the rain, the snow, the wind, the sights, the scents, it's all quite amazing and even the little things like just observing the day, that can be enjoyable if you let yourself experience all that the living (YOU) get to do today.

After the sadness, depression etc. (you will not be expected not to grieve your situation), when you get done with that sadness, you'll get used to dying and enjoy your bonus years.