I can't know the difficulty you face. I hope it's not out of place to say to try to find something today that will bring you joy. No matter how small. The feel of the warmth of the sun on your skin, the coolness of the air, the beauty of the sky, or plants nearby. Every day you get, seek something to cherish this and every day you get. Find something to do or take the dog out on a drive or a walk and see the joy that brings to the dog while you have him. It's good of you to care for your dog to find him care for when you can't. I'm past my expiration date or median O/S and I love each extra bonus day I get, so I can't know your suffering, only to wish you relief and something that can lift your spirit each day.