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732

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[–] 1 pt

But do you stand by it Theo? That's what we really want to know.

[–] 2 pts

I had a roommate about 10 years ago who tried to commit suicide by stabbing himself to death. He was really drunk off of red wine, and high off of fake Xanax, and he stabbed himself in the gut exactly one time, before he stumbled out of his room bleeding profusely, and collapsed to the ground from blood loss. I feel really lucky that I was in the house, as I had previously held an EMT-B certification, so I could provide basic first aid to him, and nobody wanted to call 911, due to the presence of drugs in the house.

That experience makes me skeptical of any medical examiner that says someone committed suicide by stabbing themselves 23 times.

[–] 1 pt

I've heard you can gauge a stab wounds depth by slipping your dick inside. Is this true?

[–] 1 pt

How long can you hold a conversation without turning something into a joke?