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Relapse

One of the girls I went to rehab with didn't text me this week.

It's not like we were having particularly deep text conversations. She would just send me positive messages, like a "good morning", and "I hope your having a beautiful day".

I never reply on time, but I always made sure to text her back later in the day, maybe give her a call to have an actual conversation. It is nice keeping in touch with rehab people and true alcoholics. They have a deeper understanding of the situation.

Last week she told me she almost drank. Found some vodka she forgot about in one of her old hiding spaces, while cleaning some stuff up. Put the bottle to her lips when her husband walked in. He stopped her, and she went to a meeting.

She has been having a rough go of it. Hard time finding a job in her field. Not too much to do without work. A nigger crept on her in her favorite AA meeting, and she was uncomfortable going back to that one for awhile after.

But she didn't text me this week. Made me kinda suspicious, so I texted her, which is something that I don't really do.

No response.

Called her.

No response.

She called me last night. Week long relapse. Zero to 60 in no time flat. Told her husband she was going to leave him. Even got so far as packing up her cats while she was blackout drunk.

Her husband got her under control eventually, but ya hate to see that waiting for you, knowing it is all so close, just one drink away

One of the girls I went to rehab with didn't text me this week. It's not like we were having particularly deep text conversations. She would just send me positive messages, like a "good morning", and "I hope your having a beautiful day". I never reply on time, but I always made sure to text her back later in the day, maybe give her a call to have an actual conversation. It is nice keeping in touch with rehab people and true alcoholics. They have a deeper understanding of the situation. Last week she told me she almost drank. Found some vodka she forgot about in one of her old hiding spaces, while cleaning some stuff up. Put the bottle to her lips when her husband walked in. He stopped her, and she went to a meeting. She has been having a rough go of it. Hard time finding a job in her field. Not too much to do without work. A nigger crept on her in her favorite AA meeting, and she was uncomfortable going back to that one for awhile after. But she didn't text me this week. Made me kinda suspicious, so I texted her, which is something that I don't really do. No response. Called her. No response. She called me last night. Week long relapse. Zero to 60 in no time flat. Told her husband she was going to leave him. Even got so far as packing up her cats while she was blackout drunk. Her husband got her under control eventually, but ya hate to see that waiting for you, knowing it is all so close, just one drink away

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[–] • 4 pts

Sucks, man; realizing that it turns into that. I tried so damned many ways of "modifying" my drinking to try to keep it in my life, but after a point you just have to accept that it wants to kill you and destroy everything around you. I'm not a binger, but it slowly takes over my life and before long I'd be drunk all the time again if I were to pick up.

Without a real spiritual/emotional change, it's hard (if not impossible) to stop obsessing about it and craving it. Plenty of people can white knuckle their way through long stretches of time, but actually doing the steps can fundamentally change the way you look at it (and life). Most of it seems pointless and ridiculous from the outside, but in my experience, it definitely can work.

Side note - I absolutely agree with you about talking with other actual alcoholics. That particular phenomenon is probably why so much of the program is centered around working with others.