>> Shame is the painful feeling that tells us that something about us is unwanted or unworthy of love or belonging. >> Shame is experienced most acutely when we are seen by the eyes of another. We’ve all had those moments where something we attempted to keep hidden about ourselves was exposed. Our face might become red, our bodies warm up, we avoid eye contact, our stomach drops, and we become watchful. >> While we tend to think watching pornography will influence us to experience shame, the reverse is also true. The more we experience shame, the more we will be drawn to pornography. Although men and women do pursue compulsive sexual choices for pleasure and their corresponding neurochemicals, it’s worth considering that we can also pursue them for the purpose of self-condemnation. >> All of us know the experiences in life where we feel shame, but rather than turning toward love or self-care, we turn toward behavior or a substance that we know will amplify the toxic inner critic’s voice.